As a woman, I enjoy studying the lives of other women who had great faith in God. A lot can be learnt from these women. Among some of the women I have learnt from are Hannah, Mary the mother of Jesus, Ruth, Rahab the harlot, The Samaritan woman at the well, and Sara. Sara is a favorite of mine, after studying about this extraordinary woman, I see a lot that can be learnt from her. This is mainly because we are told in Scripture that we are her daughters if we do well, and are not afraid with any amazement, 1 Peter 3:6.
Now Sara, the woman of great faith, whom we are encouraged to follow after, said these words to her own husband, "the Lord judge between me and thee, Gen 16:5".Was Sarah condemning her beloved husband to hell? Was she wishing evil on her husband? Was she disrespecting her husband? There was a time I used to scratch my head with this one. What was Sarah doing? Yet in the New Testament we are told she was a holy woman of the past who obeyed her husband. I did not get it, until God opened my eyes and taught me exactly what Sarah was doing when she said those words to her husband. Sara was simply being the woman of great faith in God, that instead of taking matters into her own hands, (she had probably learnt from experience) now she was trusting God to be the judge. Sara had given her own husband to her handmaid, if you have ever had a maid, surely you can understand that this is just unthinkable. For Sara to have done this, she must have had a good relationship with Hagar, and treated her well, so much that she was willing to share her own husband with her. Out of despair that the Lord had closed her womb, Sara was willing to let Abraham have a child with her handmaid. I find it interesting that Sara gets a lot of bad press for giving Hagar to Abraham, yet we at times we fail to realise that Abraham had been promised a seed by God before he chose to harken to the voice of Sara. Maybe its just my understanding, but I believe Abraham was in more wrong than Sara.
We also learn that Hagar only started despising her mistress after she had conceived. Pride got hold of Hagar, that she lost all the respect for Sara. To think she had been given a husband by her own mistress, not just any husband, but her mistress's own husband, the love of Sara. Yet Hagar turned around and threw all that in Sara's face. Sara never saw this coming, that's how much she trusted Hagar. She was obviously hurt by her handmaiden's sudden betrayal, so much that she took it to her husband. Abraham must have been fully aware of Hagar's despicable behaviour. So it is very understandable why Sara felt betrayed by both her husband and her handmaid. Instead of taking matters into her own hands, Sara committed the case into the hand of the Lord. What follows after is what really amazes me. Abraham is told by his wife that her wrong be upon him, she had given Hagar into the his bosom and when she saw she had conceived Hagar despised Sara. Sara went on to tell her husband that the Lord would judge between her and her husband.
Now, what Abraham the father of faith, does is extraordinary. He does not go into a panic frenzy accusing his wife of condemning him to hell because being a man of faith himself, he obviously knew that his wife was doing no such thing. Sara was also willing to be judged here, because she trusted the Judge. We also see what a man of faith Abraham was. He gave honour unto his wife, instead of dictating to her what she should do, he simply said to her, "Behold, thy maid is in thy hand, do to her as it pleaseth thee." He did not tell Sara what to do to Hagar, but he gave her the go ahead to do what she saw fit. Talk about a man who trusts his wife! And Sarah being a submissive wife, did what her lord Abraham had told her to. Prior to this, Hagar had despised Sara, and yet Sara had done nothing until her husband told her to act. Talk about a submissive wife!
God the judge of all the earth who does only whats right, did whats right. It looks like the judgement had already begun anyway. Sara dealt hardily with Hagar, so much that she fled from her face. I do not believe Sara was wrong to deal hardily with her handmaid. Nothing indicates that Sara was cruel or dealt unjustly with her, I believe she simply disciplined Hagar, probably took away her privileges, maybe increased her workload. Hagar never saw this coming, that's how much she had grown to despise and disrespect Sara. The way she reacted to the shock of her mistress's sudden conduct to her is proof that Hagar had been treated well by Sara. So Hagar fled. But the Lord God who is rich in mercy, sent Hagar back to her mistress, and told her to submit herself under Sara's hands. The Lord heard Hagar's affliction, and He promised to multiply even her seed. Isn't our God a good and merciful God? Is He not rich in mercy even to those that disobey Him? Surely shall not the judge of all the earth not do right? Sara simply trusted God in her whole situation. Her husband also trusted God's judgement. Sara did not fear the judgement that would come upon her or her husband, for she knew whatever judgement would come, it would be the best judgement.
When we see ourselves fearing the judgement of God, be it on us or on any person, we are simply not trusting God. Example, I do at times fear for my unsaved loved ones, that if anything happens to them whilst they are still in that state, they would go to hell. But should it happen, as painful as it would be, I take great comfort in the fact that the judge of all the earth will do right. I am originally from a country where women have been subject to the most cruel tortures I have ever heard or seen. Men as well. But in all that, I take great comfort in that one day God will repay, vengeance is His. I look around the world, and I see that the most evil people prosper, the wicked live long, they enjoy life, they seem happy, they are rich. But God will bring everything to pass, there is nothing hidden from Him under the sun. He will judge every single thing, every small matter, every evil, every good, even the inner hatred that no one else sees. He will judge. Maybe we should all take a leaf out of Sara's book, and commit whatever matters we have, be it great or small into the judgement of Almighty God. He already judges everything anyway. Only those that trust Him are willing to commit themselves to that judgement, whatever it may be, because they know the judge of all the earth will do right.
...I will jugde you every one after his ways, Ezekiel 33: 20
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
Part 2:Why I Do Not Attend Church.
Due to the number of emails I have received from people who are concerned that I do not attend Church, and a few things that has been happening behind the scenes, I feel have to do a second part of this topic. I left out some things that I now realise makes up the whole story. I also realised there are a few things I said in my previous post that needs to be corrected and explained. I tried to make this post as short as I could, but I could not get all the bits in I felt were important, so bear with me, this is kind of a long post.
As my situation currently stands, due to my circumstances alone which I would rather not share not share on a blog, God has made it clear to me that He wants me exactly were I am, without a church. God has made it physically impossible for me to go out on Sundays to be part of any congregation. Even if I wanted to be part of any Church at present, the Lord has said NO. Many professing Christians may not like the sound of that, but that is exactly how my situation is. Its better for me accept and move on, I see no reason not to. Now, what is amazing about my situation is that I am very happy and content with what God is doing, I am not lamenting and weeping because God has made it impossible for me to be in a church environment, but rather I am very thankful.
This is some of the information I believe helps give the true picture as to why I am without a Church today. We live in a small town, that has only but a few Churches. For example, one that is five minutes walking distance from our house has got a Pastor I listened to one Sunday and could not even bring himself to say the word "sin" he chose other words instead, like "messing up". There are other things as well I wont go into that makes fellowship impossible. This is the only Church that I am able to attend, if I wanted to. If God wanted me in a church, that's the only one that's available, provided my circumstances.
Just over 2 years ago my husband would drive me as far as 2 hours away so that I could be in church. He would bear with my distress and was willing to take me anywhere so that I would meet with other believers. One day he said to me, "Jean, maybe you will never find that Church you are looking for, your faith is different to many people I know, you have to accept the fact that you may never find that church, there may not be many people out there like you" He said it in the most gentle way, he didn't want to hurt my feelings, but its something he felt compelled to say to me. I was crushed to tears to hear him say that to me. I looked at my husband and told him that I would find a bible believing church one day, God would not save me then not give me people to fellowship with. I told him that my God would lead me to that Church, wherever it was.
After this conversation with my husband, I went into despair. I so wanted to be with other believers, I was desperate for their fellowship. Yet at the back of mind I was thinking if my husband was right, I could never cope without a church, that thought crushed me, so I cried to God and begged him to lead me to a Church where I would find other believers. Amazingly after about a month, God led me to a Baptist Church. I did not go looking for it, God led me there. I thought I had found it, I thought this was it, simply because God had led me there. Yet my husband was concerned about me and told me he had heard it all before. He told me to think hard and not rush into joining membership. He said looks are deceiving, and after a while I could find out that this Church was not what it appeared to be outwardly, by then I would be a member already and it would get so complicated for me to leave, as had happened before. Sadly I was not willing to listen to my husband's advice, simply because he was not saved. I went into membership. My husband is such a gentlemen, even though he was against me joining this church because he wanted to protect me and did not want to see me hurt again, he still drove me to church and sat in the services with me.
Sadly two years later history repeated itself again. I was left without an option but to come out of membership. Yet even though my husband told me so, and has every right to say I told you so honey, rather he supports me and understands. He told me to simply walk away from the whole situation, and not try to defend myself in any way. He told me to be quiet, and do the right thing. He told me not to respond to any reviling, any name calling or anything that would generate an argument. I listened to my husband and did what he told me. And God has taught me to listen to my husband, even in things pertaining to my faith, which before I thought I could get away with . Foolishly I used to think I could obey my husband in anything but not what pertains to my faith in the Lord. I have learnt through experience that when God says wives submit to your husbands in everything, He means everything indeed!
I am not in isolation. Besides having the Father, Son and Holy Ghost with me all the time, I also have a wonderful husband whom I actually talk to a great deal about my faith. He may not understand me totally as he is yet unsaved, but when I need someone to talk to and let it all out, he is always there. He understand me more than many professing Christians, that's for sure. So many times my husband says things to me that I know its God talking to me through him. A while ago I was in a doubting pit and found myself confused and doubting nearly everything. The funny thing is I did not even want to share with my husband because I thought he wouldn't understand, he is not saved after all. But he persuaded me to tell him what was troubling me, when I did, he sharply rebuked me and told me not to doubt, telling me to hold on to what I have I believed when I got saved. He told me that deep down I knew the truth, so I had to quit messing about and doubting! That day I was in total awe of God. After my husband's rebuke I was driven to my knees and confessed my sins of doubt and lack of trust before God. I thank God for my husband, he supports me, he even gives me permission to write about him on this blog. Because he knows I only have wonderful things to say about him, and he is happy for me to tell people that he is not saved, he understands and knows he is not yet saved. One day we were discussing how things have changed for better in our marriage, we realised we didn't argue so much anymore, the funny thing is we started arguing about the reasons why we didn't argue anymore, I thought we didn't argue because I no longer had a job. I thought the more money we had the more problems that came with it. He wasn't getting to the point as to why he thought we didn't argue anymore. But he couldn't keep it in anymore so he finally said we didn't argue anymore because I was now saved, period! I couldn't even answer him back, I was speechless, that settled our argument. Again I was in awe of God that day, unspeakable joy suddenly filled my heart, I went away and glorified the Father! My husband encourages me in so many ways, more than a hundred professing Christians have ever done. He is not yet there, but I know he will get there one day!
My children as young as they may be, I fellowship with them. I have more meaningful fellowship with them than I have ever had in any church building. So I am not on my own, without fellowship, I have my family. I do assemble and partake in services with my children regularly, like teaching the Word, Reading the Word, singing hymns, praying together. On the Lord's day when God allows I assemble with my children, and plan to start having Communion in our meetings. In my previous post I said I had no saints to assemble with, yet I was so wrong to say this, may God forgive me to say such a thing. God has reminded me that I am not alone. I will correct that, I do actually assemble with other believers, even on the Lord's day, its just not in a traditional big Church building.
I have not forsaken the assembling of the saints, as I am not the only believer in my household. This is another correction to my previous post, I am not the only believer in my area, I may have mistakenly implied so. As for going to Church, I am at liberty not to. I do not want to for the reasons I mentioned in my previous post, and even if I wanted to, God has restrained me. Two years ago I wanted to go to Church, so much that I begged God for a Church, and the Lord in His will said, "You asked for it, there you go" and the Lord made me go. Today He has stopped me from going to Church, and I am happy with His will for me. Is my crime that I am not lamenting and weeping over my situation? I am sorry but I see no need to be in despair about this. I do assemble in my own home. I fellowship with my children, and my husband supports me in everything I do. God has closed the door for me to go to Church. I said I would not be looking for a Church because I haven't got a choice anyway provided my current situation. The amazing thing in all this is that I have joy, my cup runs over, I am at peace in this whole situation that God has put me in. I trust Him and I know that He knows whats best for me. I will not go looking for a Church, or should I say, I cant go looking for a Church. I have the freedom and liberty not to do so. So besides me being content with my current situation, I have assurance that God wants me without a Church because he has made it physically impossible for me to travel on Sundays or any other day to assemble with a group of professing Christians, due to other circumstances and the area I live in. I used to travel to other towns to go to church, today that's not possible. I can not. And I am very content with what God is doing. Again I will say...
"the hour cometh, when ye shall neither worship in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father... but the hour cometh, and now is, when true worshippers shall worship the Father in Spirit and truth, John 4:21, 23."
As my situation currently stands, due to my circumstances alone which I would rather not share not share on a blog, God has made it clear to me that He wants me exactly were I am, without a church. God has made it physically impossible for me to go out on Sundays to be part of any congregation. Even if I wanted to be part of any Church at present, the Lord has said NO. Many professing Christians may not like the sound of that, but that is exactly how my situation is. Its better for me accept and move on, I see no reason not to. Now, what is amazing about my situation is that I am very happy and content with what God is doing, I am not lamenting and weeping because God has made it impossible for me to be in a church environment, but rather I am very thankful.
This is some of the information I believe helps give the true picture as to why I am without a Church today. We live in a small town, that has only but a few Churches. For example, one that is five minutes walking distance from our house has got a Pastor I listened to one Sunday and could not even bring himself to say the word "sin" he chose other words instead, like "messing up". There are other things as well I wont go into that makes fellowship impossible. This is the only Church that I am able to attend, if I wanted to. If God wanted me in a church, that's the only one that's available, provided my circumstances.
Just over 2 years ago my husband would drive me as far as 2 hours away so that I could be in church. He would bear with my distress and was willing to take me anywhere so that I would meet with other believers. One day he said to me, "Jean, maybe you will never find that Church you are looking for, your faith is different to many people I know, you have to accept the fact that you may never find that church, there may not be many people out there like you" He said it in the most gentle way, he didn't want to hurt my feelings, but its something he felt compelled to say to me. I was crushed to tears to hear him say that to me. I looked at my husband and told him that I would find a bible believing church one day, God would not save me then not give me people to fellowship with. I told him that my God would lead me to that Church, wherever it was.
After this conversation with my husband, I went into despair. I so wanted to be with other believers, I was desperate for their fellowship. Yet at the back of mind I was thinking if my husband was right, I could never cope without a church, that thought crushed me, so I cried to God and begged him to lead me to a Church where I would find other believers. Amazingly after about a month, God led me to a Baptist Church. I did not go looking for it, God led me there. I thought I had found it, I thought this was it, simply because God had led me there. Yet my husband was concerned about me and told me he had heard it all before. He told me to think hard and not rush into joining membership. He said looks are deceiving, and after a while I could find out that this Church was not what it appeared to be outwardly, by then I would be a member already and it would get so complicated for me to leave, as had happened before. Sadly I was not willing to listen to my husband's advice, simply because he was not saved. I went into membership. My husband is such a gentlemen, even though he was against me joining this church because he wanted to protect me and did not want to see me hurt again, he still drove me to church and sat in the services with me.
Sadly two years later history repeated itself again. I was left without an option but to come out of membership. Yet even though my husband told me so, and has every right to say I told you so honey, rather he supports me and understands. He told me to simply walk away from the whole situation, and not try to defend myself in any way. He told me to be quiet, and do the right thing. He told me not to respond to any reviling, any name calling or anything that would generate an argument. I listened to my husband and did what he told me. And God has taught me to listen to my husband, even in things pertaining to my faith, which before I thought I could get away with . Foolishly I used to think I could obey my husband in anything but not what pertains to my faith in the Lord. I have learnt through experience that when God says wives submit to your husbands in everything, He means everything indeed!
I am not in isolation. Besides having the Father, Son and Holy Ghost with me all the time, I also have a wonderful husband whom I actually talk to a great deal about my faith. He may not understand me totally as he is yet unsaved, but when I need someone to talk to and let it all out, he is always there. He understand me more than many professing Christians, that's for sure. So many times my husband says things to me that I know its God talking to me through him. A while ago I was in a doubting pit and found myself confused and doubting nearly everything. The funny thing is I did not even want to share with my husband because I thought he wouldn't understand, he is not saved after all. But he persuaded me to tell him what was troubling me, when I did, he sharply rebuked me and told me not to doubt, telling me to hold on to what I have I believed when I got saved. He told me that deep down I knew the truth, so I had to quit messing about and doubting! That day I was in total awe of God. After my husband's rebuke I was driven to my knees and confessed my sins of doubt and lack of trust before God. I thank God for my husband, he supports me, he even gives me permission to write about him on this blog. Because he knows I only have wonderful things to say about him, and he is happy for me to tell people that he is not saved, he understands and knows he is not yet saved. One day we were discussing how things have changed for better in our marriage, we realised we didn't argue so much anymore, the funny thing is we started arguing about the reasons why we didn't argue anymore, I thought we didn't argue because I no longer had a job. I thought the more money we had the more problems that came with it. He wasn't getting to the point as to why he thought we didn't argue anymore. But he couldn't keep it in anymore so he finally said we didn't argue anymore because I was now saved, period! I couldn't even answer him back, I was speechless, that settled our argument. Again I was in awe of God that day, unspeakable joy suddenly filled my heart, I went away and glorified the Father! My husband encourages me in so many ways, more than a hundred professing Christians have ever done. He is not yet there, but I know he will get there one day!
My children as young as they may be, I fellowship with them. I have more meaningful fellowship with them than I have ever had in any church building. So I am not on my own, without fellowship, I have my family. I do assemble and partake in services with my children regularly, like teaching the Word, Reading the Word, singing hymns, praying together. On the Lord's day when God allows I assemble with my children, and plan to start having Communion in our meetings. In my previous post I said I had no saints to assemble with, yet I was so wrong to say this, may God forgive me to say such a thing. God has reminded me that I am not alone. I will correct that, I do actually assemble with other believers, even on the Lord's day, its just not in a traditional big Church building.
I have not forsaken the assembling of the saints, as I am not the only believer in my household. This is another correction to my previous post, I am not the only believer in my area, I may have mistakenly implied so. As for going to Church, I am at liberty not to. I do not want to for the reasons I mentioned in my previous post, and even if I wanted to, God has restrained me. Two years ago I wanted to go to Church, so much that I begged God for a Church, and the Lord in His will said, "You asked for it, there you go" and the Lord made me go. Today He has stopped me from going to Church, and I am happy with His will for me. Is my crime that I am not lamenting and weeping over my situation? I am sorry but I see no need to be in despair about this. I do assemble in my own home. I fellowship with my children, and my husband supports me in everything I do. God has closed the door for me to go to Church. I said I would not be looking for a Church because I haven't got a choice anyway provided my current situation. The amazing thing in all this is that I have joy, my cup runs over, I am at peace in this whole situation that God has put me in. I trust Him and I know that He knows whats best for me. I will not go looking for a Church, or should I say, I cant go looking for a Church. I have the freedom and liberty not to do so. So besides me being content with my current situation, I have assurance that God wants me without a Church because he has made it physically impossible for me to travel on Sundays or any other day to assemble with a group of professing Christians, due to other circumstances and the area I live in. I used to travel to other towns to go to church, today that's not possible. I can not. And I am very content with what God is doing. Again I will say...
"the hour cometh, when ye shall neither worship in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father... but the hour cometh, and now is, when true worshippers shall worship the Father in Spirit and truth, John 4:21, 23."
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Why I Do Not Attend Church
But the hour cometh, and now is, when true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth...John 4:23
I will start by saying in all honesty I never thought I would ever write this post. Over the past weeks, events unfolded and I found myself in the last place I have ever imagined. Nonetheless this blog is a place where I share my experiences and my journey in the Lord, so i believe this post had to be written. I am learning that as I grow in Christ, the path becomes narrower and narrower by the day. I sit down many times and I can not take everything in, honestly. Four years ago I was a feminist who thought I had my life pretty much worked out. Today I live in another world altogether, a world I never knew existed. More so a world that many people do not even know exists. I live in a world where Christ is my all in all, where I know no other but Him. I understand when the unbelievers cant comprehend anything I say, but when those who profess to know Him cant even gasp my language, its not easy to take in. When you became an alien among those who are meant to be your own people, its frightening.
With that said this brings me to the purpose of this post. I am no longer a member of any particular church. I do not belong to any denomination anymore. I will not be going out looking or searching for a church. Please bear with me before telling me that I am forsaking the assembling of the saints. I have never done such a thing. I love the assembling of the saints. If I knew any believers who love the Lord and serve only Him, I repeat serve only Him, I would go to them today. Even if those believers met on a roof top, in a boat on a crocodile infested river, on a mountain or even in a cave, I would do everything I can to meet with them wherever they may be. Sadly for me, its just not been possible. After nearly four years of attending different churches in different towns, the experience has been gruelling to say the least. And those believers who serve only Christ, I am sorry to say I have not met them. I am not so bothered anymore how theologically politically incorrect this sounds, but I am simply telling the truth here. A church were only Christ is exalted and served, in all honestly I can say I have not come across it. So for me I have not violated Hebrews 10:25, simply because I do not have the saints to assemble with. For the past four years, its simply not been possible for me to break this command, even though I have been assembling with those who say they love the Lord.
People are saying to me, "Jean this is not right, you need fellowship, you cant be on your own". I am thinking, am I missing something here, am I being blamed for not assembling with the saints?If so then there are many things I should be blamed for in my life. My family and loved ones are not saved. I live in a neighbourhood where people don't call on the name of the Lord. My beloved husband is not saved. Surely I must do something about it, I need fellowship, its not right that I do not fellowship with my very own beloved. The fact that my husband is not saved by default leaves me to blame for forsaking fellowship with him. By default I am also to blame for forsaking fellowship with my loved ones, who by the way are not saved. I pray, how do I fellowship with my unsaved loved ones? How is it even possible for me to forsake assembling with them? How do I know they are not saved, as the old proverb goes, if it quakes like a duck, walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, then there is a very big chance that it is probably a duck. That is how I know my loved ones are not saved, I need not be a genius to figure it out. What the Lord has taught me is that only a very few people are saved compared to those that are lost. And these very few are scattered all over the earth. there may be a few here, one there, two there and so on. But I doubt you will find a thousand saints in the same place these days. We have to wait for the next life when we will all be together with our Lord Jesus Christ.
I have been asked what it is that I do with myself since i don't go to Church, as though church is the backbone of my faith. To sum the answer up, I worship God, that's what I do with myself in my own home. How do I worship God? This is how I worship Him: When I wake up, I think of Him, I talk to Him, I read His Word, I talk to my family about Him, I sing to Him (not play a CD) I prefer to make melody in my heart and sing a new song to Him, I also sing about Him with my children, I read them the Word, I look at His creation and gaze in wonder, I look into my babies eyes and I cant stop glorifying Him, Even when I am combing my hair in the morning, I look in the mirror and I see God's handiwork, When I get upset He comforts me, When I need a friend, He is always there, When I thirst He fills my cup, When I hunger He feeds me, When I fall He lifts me up, When I feel lonely, I run to Him, When I am scared, I shout for Him, He never leaves me, He never forsakes me, Christ is my all in all and I am always looking up unto the hills, where my help comes from.
Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying going to church is bad. If you are a member of the bride of Christ and have found a church where Christ alone is served, where Him alone is exalted, then you must be very thankful to the Lord. I did not leave the church because I am better than everyone. In fact I left because of the very opposite. I cant bear to be in a place where mere men and vile sinners like myself exalt themselves and play the harlot to the God they claim to love. I can not do it. I cant be in the same place where my presence there compromise my worship for God, I am sorry I can not do it. I cant be in a place where the Holy name I call upon is blasphemed because of the hypocrisy of professing Christians, especially leaders.
I know that I am a sinner deserving of eternal death, the Lord Jesus Christ shed His precious blood for me, how then can I play the harlot, even under disguise of the Church. I am so great a sinner, so wretched that I love my saviour so much, I cant stand by and watch professing Christians exalt their names using the Holy name by which I have been called. It makes me feel sick. It upsets me. For me today, I will stand alone with Him, outside the Church, and I am not ashamed to confess it. I may look a poor miserable sight to many professing Christians, but I am indeed very rich.I have sweet communion with my Lord even in my own home, I need not be in a building on Sunday to receive God's blessing. If one day God gives me saints to assembly with (which I believe He will someday) I will be very grateful and thankful. But today without the assembling of the saints, I am very thankful too, because I have no choice but to rely on Him for everything, which I consider to be a precious gift. He gives, He takes away, but blessed be His name forevermore. Today I say blessed be His name that I walk alone with Him, and I am blessed to suffer for His name. To think God has allowed me to be reviled for His name is very humbling, I do not deserve to be reproached for Him. Glory Be To God!
I will start by saying in all honesty I never thought I would ever write this post. Over the past weeks, events unfolded and I found myself in the last place I have ever imagined. Nonetheless this blog is a place where I share my experiences and my journey in the Lord, so i believe this post had to be written. I am learning that as I grow in Christ, the path becomes narrower and narrower by the day. I sit down many times and I can not take everything in, honestly. Four years ago I was a feminist who thought I had my life pretty much worked out. Today I live in another world altogether, a world I never knew existed. More so a world that many people do not even know exists. I live in a world where Christ is my all in all, where I know no other but Him. I understand when the unbelievers cant comprehend anything I say, but when those who profess to know Him cant even gasp my language, its not easy to take in. When you became an alien among those who are meant to be your own people, its frightening.
With that said this brings me to the purpose of this post. I am no longer a member of any particular church. I do not belong to any denomination anymore. I will not be going out looking or searching for a church. Please bear with me before telling me that I am forsaking the assembling of the saints. I have never done such a thing. I love the assembling of the saints. If I knew any believers who love the Lord and serve only Him, I repeat serve only Him, I would go to them today. Even if those believers met on a roof top, in a boat on a crocodile infested river, on a mountain or even in a cave, I would do everything I can to meet with them wherever they may be. Sadly for me, its just not been possible. After nearly four years of attending different churches in different towns, the experience has been gruelling to say the least. And those believers who serve only Christ, I am sorry to say I have not met them. I am not so bothered anymore how theologically politically incorrect this sounds, but I am simply telling the truth here. A church were only Christ is exalted and served, in all honestly I can say I have not come across it. So for me I have not violated Hebrews 10:25, simply because I do not have the saints to assemble with. For the past four years, its simply not been possible for me to break this command, even though I have been assembling with those who say they love the Lord.
People are saying to me, "Jean this is not right, you need fellowship, you cant be on your own". I am thinking, am I missing something here, am I being blamed for not assembling with the saints?If so then there are many things I should be blamed for in my life. My family and loved ones are not saved. I live in a neighbourhood where people don't call on the name of the Lord. My beloved husband is not saved. Surely I must do something about it, I need fellowship, its not right that I do not fellowship with my very own beloved. The fact that my husband is not saved by default leaves me to blame for forsaking fellowship with him. By default I am also to blame for forsaking fellowship with my loved ones, who by the way are not saved. I pray, how do I fellowship with my unsaved loved ones? How is it even possible for me to forsake assembling with them? How do I know they are not saved, as the old proverb goes, if it quakes like a duck, walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, then there is a very big chance that it is probably a duck. That is how I know my loved ones are not saved, I need not be a genius to figure it out. What the Lord has taught me is that only a very few people are saved compared to those that are lost. And these very few are scattered all over the earth. there may be a few here, one there, two there and so on. But I doubt you will find a thousand saints in the same place these days. We have to wait for the next life when we will all be together with our Lord Jesus Christ.
I have been asked what it is that I do with myself since i don't go to Church, as though church is the backbone of my faith. To sum the answer up, I worship God, that's what I do with myself in my own home. How do I worship God? This is how I worship Him: When I wake up, I think of Him, I talk to Him, I read His Word, I talk to my family about Him, I sing to Him (not play a CD) I prefer to make melody in my heart and sing a new song to Him, I also sing about Him with my children, I read them the Word, I look at His creation and gaze in wonder, I look into my babies eyes and I cant stop glorifying Him, Even when I am combing my hair in the morning, I look in the mirror and I see God's handiwork, When I get upset He comforts me, When I need a friend, He is always there, When I thirst He fills my cup, When I hunger He feeds me, When I fall He lifts me up, When I feel lonely, I run to Him, When I am scared, I shout for Him, He never leaves me, He never forsakes me, Christ is my all in all and I am always looking up unto the hills, where my help comes from.
Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying going to church is bad. If you are a member of the bride of Christ and have found a church where Christ alone is served, where Him alone is exalted, then you must be very thankful to the Lord. I did not leave the church because I am better than everyone. In fact I left because of the very opposite. I cant bear to be in a place where mere men and vile sinners like myself exalt themselves and play the harlot to the God they claim to love. I can not do it. I cant be in the same place where my presence there compromise my worship for God, I am sorry I can not do it. I cant be in a place where the Holy name I call upon is blasphemed because of the hypocrisy of professing Christians, especially leaders.
I know that I am a sinner deserving of eternal death, the Lord Jesus Christ shed His precious blood for me, how then can I play the harlot, even under disguise of the Church. I am so great a sinner, so wretched that I love my saviour so much, I cant stand by and watch professing Christians exalt their names using the Holy name by which I have been called. It makes me feel sick. It upsets me. For me today, I will stand alone with Him, outside the Church, and I am not ashamed to confess it. I may look a poor miserable sight to many professing Christians, but I am indeed very rich.I have sweet communion with my Lord even in my own home, I need not be in a building on Sunday to receive God's blessing. If one day God gives me saints to assembly with (which I believe He will someday) I will be very grateful and thankful. But today without the assembling of the saints, I am very thankful too, because I have no choice but to rely on Him for everything, which I consider to be a precious gift. He gives, He takes away, but blessed be His name forevermore. Today I say blessed be His name that I walk alone with Him, and I am blessed to suffer for His name. To think God has allowed me to be reviled for His name is very humbling, I do not deserve to be reproached for Him. Glory Be To God!
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Why I Am No Longer A Mental Health Nurse
I have written this blog post because of the frustration I feel when most people fail to understand why I gave up a career in mental health nursing to be a homemaker. Firstly I believe it is a sin to neglect my children in the name of career and money. Everyday I see women neglecting their children and husbands, pursuing careers outside the home. It saddens me that this is the society I live in, and people like me are looked down upon and frowned on, because I believe my children and husband come first above money and career. What really saddens me is that among my fellow Africans, what I have done is wrong, lowering myself to be a "housewife", a term that is normally used to mock women like me, who are "Homemakers" according to the Bible. Well my job was never a peace of cake anyway. I would like to share some of the reasons why I am so glad I was delivered from my so called career as a mental health professional.
I spent three long years being trained to delude, lie and supposedly help people who to say the least are demon possessed and oppressed by the devil. I want to make it clear that I do not believe every person with a minor mental health instability is demon possessed, in some cases I believe it can be a chemical imbalance, especially with anxiety and depression. That's why I would never recommend antidepressants to anyone, they do more harm than good. Physical exercise is a better cure of depression and stress than antidepressants. More so, the Word Of God is the best cure for anxiety and depression! However through more than 5 years experience in working with people with severe mental illnesses, after the Lord opened my blind eyes I came to the conclusion that these people's problem is mostly spiritual than anything else, especially schizophrenia. Some of the things I have seen have made me to come to this conclusion, and I believe answers can be found in the bible as to why those people behave the way they do.
After I qualified I went on to work with people who were not only mentally ill, but who had previously committed serious crimes, some murderers, some robbers, perverts, rapists and so on. Sadly I had chosen to go into this field of psychiatry because it paid a little bit more. My job was to give them medication, spend time with these men, (believe it or not, it was part of my job) get to know them by building a therapeutic relationship. I was also trained to physically restrain patients when they got violent, which happened often. I personally never felt it was right for a woman to physically restrain aggressive men, and by the grace of God I never stooped this low. As I was working with some men who were perverts, part of my job was to get used to being verbally abused in an inappropriate manner. I was also very fortunate that I never was beaten or physically attacked by a patient. No, my job was not the most pleasant of jobs and for me the money was never worth it.
Another part of my job that I found disturbing and dangerous was engaging in therapeutic activities with patients. For example I used to take murderers for walks in isolated areas by myself including when I was heavily pregnant. If I refused to, then I would have been seen as an incompetent nurse. One of the patients I used to take for walks had violently stabbed and killed a defenceless woman. My only comfort when walking alone with this murderer was that I had a little alarm with me and there were CCTV cameras around. However the cameras and alarms did not prevent a very disturbing incident in which a heavily pregnant young woman was viciously attacked by a "patient" and left unconscious fighting for her life by the side of the road. This poor woman had been ordered to take this offender for a walk.The worst part in this was that the offender had been assessed by "mental health professionals" and deemed safe to be alone with a young pregnant woman in a isolated area. She was fortunate to survive the vicious attack and by the grace of God her baby was unharmed. To think they call this mental health nursing is beyond me, sounds more like mental health madness to me.
The final straw for me was one particular incident that left me fearing for my safety and the health and well-being of my unborn baby. One time an offender/patient got so angry with me, started shouting abuse at me and threatened to kill me. One thing that had really upset him was that I did not spend enough time with him as he wished. This is not the worst part, my colleague I was working with did nothing to protect me or help me. After his burst up and threats to me, the patient then went on to report me to another nurse, (that I did not spend enough time talking to him) The other nurse sat down with him and encouraged his behaviour (his rights) and implied that I was in the wrong. A few weeks after this man threatened to kill me, he went on to take another person hostage in what was one of the most frightening and dangerous situations the hospital had seen. I could not help and think in my heart that the hostage could easily have been me, if it had happened weeks earlier.
Forensic Mental Health Nursing for women is not all its cracked up to be. Women physically restraining violent and dangerous men, women going in private rooms spending time with these strange men "talking to them", women being sexually assaulted by men, (mostly verbally) and worse more women being physically attacked by offenders . This is what forensic mental health nursing is. No surprises then when a young woman who was married ended up having an affair with an offender .She used to go for "walks" with this offender and also used to spend some time with him building a therapeutic relationship, which was part of her job. She ended up getting impregnated by this criminal and went on to divorce her husband. How wicked and evil! If this woman had been at home being a homemaker and submitting to her husband and rearing children, she would have never found herself in the ugly situation she ended up in.
For me, my job was horrible, I hated it so much that I prayed and cried out God asking Him to free me from such miserable bondage! My greatest desire was to be a mother to my children and to keep my home, yet there was no way of escape from this terrible profession. But God knows how to deliver His children from wickedness and bondage, God eventually answered my prayer, and today I am a stay at home mother to our 3 little blessings and everyday I am working at being a more submissive and loving wife to my husband, which to me is the best job in the world.
I always used to wonder why God allowed me to be a mental health professional. Thinking of all the years I wasted at University. But now I have come to the realisation that as horrible as my job was, God had a plan in it and led me there for a reason. God sent me to that field of profession just to meet my husband. I would never have met my beloved husband if it wasn't for my career. So I am thankful to God that he led me to be a nurse, something I had never planned but ended up in nursing because of circumstances, yet God's plan was for me to meet the man He had chosen for me. The Lord sure delivered me from my so called career and in the process gave me a wonderful family. God does give us the desires of our heart, if we delight in Him. I am so glad I am no longer a mental health Nurse.
I spent three long years being trained to delude, lie and supposedly help people who to say the least are demon possessed and oppressed by the devil. I want to make it clear that I do not believe every person with a minor mental health instability is demon possessed, in some cases I believe it can be a chemical imbalance, especially with anxiety and depression. That's why I would never recommend antidepressants to anyone, they do more harm than good. Physical exercise is a better cure of depression and stress than antidepressants. More so, the Word Of God is the best cure for anxiety and depression! However through more than 5 years experience in working with people with severe mental illnesses, after the Lord opened my blind eyes I came to the conclusion that these people's problem is mostly spiritual than anything else, especially schizophrenia. Some of the things I have seen have made me to come to this conclusion, and I believe answers can be found in the bible as to why those people behave the way they do.
After I qualified I went on to work with people who were not only mentally ill, but who had previously committed serious crimes, some murderers, some robbers, perverts, rapists and so on. Sadly I had chosen to go into this field of psychiatry because it paid a little bit more. My job was to give them medication, spend time with these men, (believe it or not, it was part of my job) get to know them by building a therapeutic relationship. I was also trained to physically restrain patients when they got violent, which happened often. I personally never felt it was right for a woman to physically restrain aggressive men, and by the grace of God I never stooped this low. As I was working with some men who were perverts, part of my job was to get used to being verbally abused in an inappropriate manner. I was also very fortunate that I never was beaten or physically attacked by a patient. No, my job was not the most pleasant of jobs and for me the money was never worth it.
Another part of my job that I found disturbing and dangerous was engaging in therapeutic activities with patients. For example I used to take murderers for walks in isolated areas by myself including when I was heavily pregnant. If I refused to, then I would have been seen as an incompetent nurse. One of the patients I used to take for walks had violently stabbed and killed a defenceless woman. My only comfort when walking alone with this murderer was that I had a little alarm with me and there were CCTV cameras around. However the cameras and alarms did not prevent a very disturbing incident in which a heavily pregnant young woman was viciously attacked by a "patient" and left unconscious fighting for her life by the side of the road. This poor woman had been ordered to take this offender for a walk.The worst part in this was that the offender had been assessed by "mental health professionals" and deemed safe to be alone with a young pregnant woman in a isolated area. She was fortunate to survive the vicious attack and by the grace of God her baby was unharmed. To think they call this mental health nursing is beyond me, sounds more like mental health madness to me.
The final straw for me was one particular incident that left me fearing for my safety and the health and well-being of my unborn baby. One time an offender/patient got so angry with me, started shouting abuse at me and threatened to kill me. One thing that had really upset him was that I did not spend enough time with him as he wished. This is not the worst part, my colleague I was working with did nothing to protect me or help me. After his burst up and threats to me, the patient then went on to report me to another nurse, (that I did not spend enough time talking to him) The other nurse sat down with him and encouraged his behaviour (his rights) and implied that I was in the wrong. A few weeks after this man threatened to kill me, he went on to take another person hostage in what was one of the most frightening and dangerous situations the hospital had seen. I could not help and think in my heart that the hostage could easily have been me, if it had happened weeks earlier.
Forensic Mental Health Nursing for women is not all its cracked up to be. Women physically restraining violent and dangerous men, women going in private rooms spending time with these strange men "talking to them", women being sexually assaulted by men, (mostly verbally) and worse more women being physically attacked by offenders . This is what forensic mental health nursing is. No surprises then when a young woman who was married ended up having an affair with an offender .She used to go for "walks" with this offender and also used to spend some time with him building a therapeutic relationship, which was part of her job. She ended up getting impregnated by this criminal and went on to divorce her husband. How wicked and evil! If this woman had been at home being a homemaker and submitting to her husband and rearing children, she would have never found herself in the ugly situation she ended up in.
For me, my job was horrible, I hated it so much that I prayed and cried out God asking Him to free me from such miserable bondage! My greatest desire was to be a mother to my children and to keep my home, yet there was no way of escape from this terrible profession. But God knows how to deliver His children from wickedness and bondage, God eventually answered my prayer, and today I am a stay at home mother to our 3 little blessings and everyday I am working at being a more submissive and loving wife to my husband, which to me is the best job in the world.
I always used to wonder why God allowed me to be a mental health professional. Thinking of all the years I wasted at University. But now I have come to the realisation that as horrible as my job was, God had a plan in it and led me there for a reason. God sent me to that field of profession just to meet my husband. I would never have met my beloved husband if it wasn't for my career. So I am thankful to God that he led me to be a nurse, something I had never planned but ended up in nursing because of circumstances, yet God's plan was for me to meet the man He had chosen for me. The Lord sure delivered me from my so called career and in the process gave me a wonderful family. God does give us the desires of our heart, if we delight in Him. I am so glad I am no longer a mental health Nurse.
Friday, 4 September 2009
Being Led By the Spirit in Witnessing.
The Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in Judea, unto the uttermost part of the earth, Acts 1:8
When I first came to know the Lord Jesus Christ, immediately I started sharing the gospel with strangers, friends and family. In most cases that I witnessed as a new believer most of what I said was well planned. I also started listening to programmes which taught believers on how to share their faith, so I also put some of the techniques I was learning into practise. I would ask if someone was a good person, the answer was usually a “yes”, and then I would use the 10 commandments to show them they were sinners, lastly I would tell people to turn from sin and trust in Christ. The formula was well planned, and it seemed to work pretty well until one day something totally unexpected happened. I was witnessing to a friend over the telephone, as always I asked her if she considered herself to be a good person. From this question everything went horribly wrong because instead of saying she was a good person, my friend confessed to being a very bad person. Well, because I had been used to a formula I ended up being stuck for words. But eventually somehow I did manage to share the gospel with her, her response is what totally shocked me. She rejected the Lord Jesus Christ. She said she understood about Christ, but she made it clear to me that she would not receive it, yet she confessed to being a wicked vile person. This was the first time I found myself questioning certain formulas when it comes to witnessing. I came off the telephone feeling very discouraged and disappointed with myself, I felt like I should have spoken to my friend very differently.
What I have learnt is people are different, and we can not speak to everyone in the exact same way. We are not robots, we are all different individuals. That is why we have the Holy Spirit. He leads us and helps us when we share the gospel. We do not know what we aught to say to each individual we meet, when we use certain formulas and speak to everyone the exact same way, we are not being led by the Spirit of God. As the apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 2:4-5, that his preaching of the gospel was not of men’s wisdom, but rather he relied on the Spirit of God. For me it’s been truly amazing to see how the Spirit leads when sharing the Gospel. A few months ago I got talking to a young mother at a toddler play group, during the conversation, the Lord opened a door for me to share the gospel. I had not planned to witness to this woman, but the Lord took me by surprise. It turned out she was Jewish, but an unbelieving one. She had never heard the gospel. I did not use any formula with this woman, without realising it I spoke to her as an individual. I referenced to the Old Testament a bit and I spoke about the Jews being God's chosen people then I pointed her to Jesus Christ the Messiah as the only hope for her salvation. She asked me whether good works would in any way help her get to heaven but I told her only Christ could help her get there. When I got home that day I was bursting with unexplainable joy. Being led by the Spirit is such a joy.
The next few days after witnessing to the Jewish young woman, I was shopping with one of my sons in a busy town. My mind was miles away when I was approached by a young woman. I thought she was a sales person so I was ready to tell her I was busy, and then I noticed a badge on her jacket that indicated she was a Mormon. Again the Lord took me by surprise once again, she looked very nervous actually and was even more nervous when I told her I was a born again believer. It’s a good thing I had done my research on the cult, so I had a starting point and spoke on the deity of Christ. I explained to her that our good works can never be good enough. We could not earn our way to heaven ;that’s why we need the Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. It was hard getting through to her, but she did listen and overall we had a good conversation. The only thing I regretted was that I did not have any gospel tracts with me, but I could not stop glorifying God in my heart; I had planned a day out shopping, but ended up being led by the Spirit to share the gospel to a young Mormon! Again I did not use a formula with her, and I certainly didn’t speak to her as I did with the Jewish mother.
My husband is a believer, he understands and even knows that if he dies in his condition he is going to hell. He knows he is a sinner, he knows he has broken the law and he even believes in Christ, but what he lacks is a personal trust in Christ for himself. Going to my husband with the ten commandments isn't going to get him to see that he needs a saviour. Asking him a series of questions whether he is good or bad isn't going to help either, he already understands all that. Any true Christian who knows my husband personally will know that what he needs is to understand what Christ did for Him personally. But if a stranger were to witness to him, asking my husband the simple question, " Young man, have you ever heard of the Lord Jesus Christ?" would probably do more to him than a formula would. I say that because my husband 's simple answer to that question would probably lead the evangelist to a good understanding of my husband's condition, thus the Spirit would lead from there. One day I was with my husband on a day out when we saw a couple of guys doing open air preaching. Sadly they were wrapping up when we got there, so I didn't have a chance to figure them out. After they finished they approached us to give us tracts, the preacher then asked us if we were believers, my husband replied, " I am a believer, but I am not as committed as my wife, my wife is a practising Christian" I thought this would have been a good chance for the preacher, but sadly he didn't even have much to say to my husband!
As an African I have learnt that most of my fellow people are very religious, they are thoroughly churched yet very blind and the hardest to reach with the gospel. The English people on the other hand are very hostile towards the gospel. The culture in Britain is very anti Christian, but having said that I find it easier to witness to the English than to Zimbabweans! So obviously the way I would speak to a Zimbabwean would be very different to the way I would speak to an English person. When talking to Africans I have to identify with our culture without violating my conscience, when speaking to the British I have to identify with them and be like one of them, as Paul said we have to became all things to all peoples that we may win more to Christ. Sometimes we have to let go the traditions of men, some say do it this way, others say do it that way, but I would rather be lead by the Spirit, so that I will have nothing else to glory in. Of course we should never compromise the gospel message or change it, but when witnessing it is important to remember that people are different so we can’t speak to everyone the exact same way, we have to be led by the Spirit. Now I realise that so many times I witness I never plan it, nor do I plan the words. I am usually a nervous wreck half the time, but it’s only when I reflect back afterwards when I see that in my weakness, the Spirit was at work mightily and so all I can do is thank God and glorify Him!
When I first came to know the Lord Jesus Christ, immediately I started sharing the gospel with strangers, friends and family. In most cases that I witnessed as a new believer most of what I said was well planned. I also started listening to programmes which taught believers on how to share their faith, so I also put some of the techniques I was learning into practise. I would ask if someone was a good person, the answer was usually a “yes”, and then I would use the 10 commandments to show them they were sinners, lastly I would tell people to turn from sin and trust in Christ. The formula was well planned, and it seemed to work pretty well until one day something totally unexpected happened. I was witnessing to a friend over the telephone, as always I asked her if she considered herself to be a good person. From this question everything went horribly wrong because instead of saying she was a good person, my friend confessed to being a very bad person. Well, because I had been used to a formula I ended up being stuck for words. But eventually somehow I did manage to share the gospel with her, her response is what totally shocked me. She rejected the Lord Jesus Christ. She said she understood about Christ, but she made it clear to me that she would not receive it, yet she confessed to being a wicked vile person. This was the first time I found myself questioning certain formulas when it comes to witnessing. I came off the telephone feeling very discouraged and disappointed with myself, I felt like I should have spoken to my friend very differently.
What I have learnt is people are different, and we can not speak to everyone in the exact same way. We are not robots, we are all different individuals. That is why we have the Holy Spirit. He leads us and helps us when we share the gospel. We do not know what we aught to say to each individual we meet, when we use certain formulas and speak to everyone the exact same way, we are not being led by the Spirit of God. As the apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 2:4-5, that his preaching of the gospel was not of men’s wisdom, but rather he relied on the Spirit of God. For me it’s been truly amazing to see how the Spirit leads when sharing the Gospel. A few months ago I got talking to a young mother at a toddler play group, during the conversation, the Lord opened a door for me to share the gospel. I had not planned to witness to this woman, but the Lord took me by surprise. It turned out she was Jewish, but an unbelieving one. She had never heard the gospel. I did not use any formula with this woman, without realising it I spoke to her as an individual. I referenced to the Old Testament a bit and I spoke about the Jews being God's chosen people then I pointed her to Jesus Christ the Messiah as the only hope for her salvation. She asked me whether good works would in any way help her get to heaven but I told her only Christ could help her get there. When I got home that day I was bursting with unexplainable joy. Being led by the Spirit is such a joy.
The next few days after witnessing to the Jewish young woman, I was shopping with one of my sons in a busy town. My mind was miles away when I was approached by a young woman. I thought she was a sales person so I was ready to tell her I was busy, and then I noticed a badge on her jacket that indicated she was a Mormon. Again the Lord took me by surprise once again, she looked very nervous actually and was even more nervous when I told her I was a born again believer. It’s a good thing I had done my research on the cult, so I had a starting point and spoke on the deity of Christ. I explained to her that our good works can never be good enough. We could not earn our way to heaven ;that’s why we need the Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. It was hard getting through to her, but she did listen and overall we had a good conversation. The only thing I regretted was that I did not have any gospel tracts with me, but I could not stop glorifying God in my heart; I had planned a day out shopping, but ended up being led by the Spirit to share the gospel to a young Mormon! Again I did not use a formula with her, and I certainly didn’t speak to her as I did with the Jewish mother.
My husband is a believer, he understands and even knows that if he dies in his condition he is going to hell. He knows he is a sinner, he knows he has broken the law and he even believes in Christ, but what he lacks is a personal trust in Christ for himself. Going to my husband with the ten commandments isn't going to get him to see that he needs a saviour. Asking him a series of questions whether he is good or bad isn't going to help either, he already understands all that. Any true Christian who knows my husband personally will know that what he needs is to understand what Christ did for Him personally. But if a stranger were to witness to him, asking my husband the simple question, " Young man, have you ever heard of the Lord Jesus Christ?" would probably do more to him than a formula would. I say that because my husband 's simple answer to that question would probably lead the evangelist to a good understanding of my husband's condition, thus the Spirit would lead from there. One day I was with my husband on a day out when we saw a couple of guys doing open air preaching. Sadly they were wrapping up when we got there, so I didn't have a chance to figure them out. After they finished they approached us to give us tracts, the preacher then asked us if we were believers, my husband replied, " I am a believer, but I am not as committed as my wife, my wife is a practising Christian" I thought this would have been a good chance for the preacher, but sadly he didn't even have much to say to my husband!
As an African I have learnt that most of my fellow people are very religious, they are thoroughly churched yet very blind and the hardest to reach with the gospel. The English people on the other hand are very hostile towards the gospel. The culture in Britain is very anti Christian, but having said that I find it easier to witness to the English than to Zimbabweans! So obviously the way I would speak to a Zimbabwean would be very different to the way I would speak to an English person. When talking to Africans I have to identify with our culture without violating my conscience, when speaking to the British I have to identify with them and be like one of them, as Paul said we have to became all things to all peoples that we may win more to Christ. Sometimes we have to let go the traditions of men, some say do it this way, others say do it that way, but I would rather be lead by the Spirit, so that I will have nothing else to glory in. Of course we should never compromise the gospel message or change it, but when witnessing it is important to remember that people are different so we can’t speak to everyone the exact same way, we have to be led by the Spirit. Now I realise that so many times I witness I never plan it, nor do I plan the words. I am usually a nervous wreck half the time, but it’s only when I reflect back afterwards when I see that in my weakness, the Spirit was at work mightily and so all I can do is thank God and glorify Him!
Monday, 3 August 2009
Embracing My God Given Natural Beauty
I will praise thee:For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14.
We live in a time and age when most women have completely lost touch with reality as to what true beauty is. The god of this age, the media has done a big job in distorting the perception of true beauty in women, and I believe the most affected group of people by this tragedy is black women. The first time I saw a woman wearing hair extensions was when I was about 10 years old. She looked totally different to her normal usual look, at that time I thought her new look was amazing, but what surprised me was how my mother was rather horrified by what this woman had done to herself. "Why would a black woman want to do that, does she want to be something that she is not" My mother's negative response to this woman's new look gave me something to think about. As a child, I never quite came to a conclusion as to why my mother thought it was distasteful for the woman to wear hair extensions, at that time I put it down to my mother being old fashioned. In fact I would grow up to ignore what my mother believed, because in all of my adult life all I have done is wear hair extensions and braids.
But its not only me who is obsessed with looking different to who I am, nearly every black woman I know wears something on their head. Its either a weave, wig or braids, natural hair on a black woman has now became a thing of the past. There is a question I have always tried to avoid to answer or deal with personally, yet this question is raised frequently. Why do black women wear weaves and hair extensions? Sadly most black women find this question rather offensive. When they attempt to answer, they never do justice to the answer. I too used to get offended by this question, even more so because my own husband used to ask me this question all the time. He hated the fake hair on me and complained all the time that it made me appear as though I was not content with who I was. He always said my hair was far more beautiful than the extensions. Sadly I was too lost in the world of vanity to even consider my own husband's plea for me to embrace my God given natural beauty.
However after I got saved, I found myself rethinking more on the matter with an open mind and questioning my motives as to why I wore hair extensions? The conviction in my heart was strong. I stopped lying to myself and the more I thought about it, the more my mother's words echoed in my mind, " Why would a black woman want to do that, does she want to be something that she is not" .I found some grains of truth in what my mother said, I could not help but ask myself why I would adorn myself and try and look beautiful by wearing someones long wavy hair. It just wasn't right. If God created me this way (with Afro kinky hair), was it right for me to try and change my image and look something that I clearly wasn't? Why am I unable to embrace my God given beauty as an African woman?
Some time last year when I was still wrestling with the whole issue I watched a BBC documentary about human hair extensions and where they come from. I found the documentary quite disturbing and eye opening. While most black women see extensions as a great way to give them a beauty boost, there is in fact a much bigger human story behind every lock of hair. Most of the hair that is sold here in UK if from Asia and if most of us knew how the hair is obtained we would never wear it. There is a moral issue to be dealt with. But what I found most disturbing was how in India, most of the hair comes from Hindu temples where women shave off their hair to sacrifice it to Hindu gods. I do not think after knowing this, my conscience would ever be okay with wearing someone else hair, and it also doesn't help that I have heard stories and even read a book on how the whole practise of wearing hair extensions links to satanism. Some even claim some of the hair comes from dead people. I am not saying I believe all this, but for me anything that is not based on faith is sin. After watching the documentary, I vowed to my husband never to wear human hair again.
I have always had braids or weave in my hair, But as a Christian I never quite found rest in doing this, so much that I even took it to the Lord in prayer. I still wore my weaves and fake hair alright, but I just wanted to be me, the way God created me, and the way my husband prefers me. The more I wore the hair extensions, the more my weak conscience was being wounded. But by the goodness of God, with a lot of confidence boost from my husband, I decided to make hair extensions history, and let my God given beauty flourish, and I have never been happier with my look. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14. My husband couldn't be more happier with my natural look, he wants me to look African, not Asian, or Latino or mixed race by spotting hair that doesn't identify with me and distorts who I am. My hair is not straight and wavy, its Afro. With my kinky Afro hair, I have never felt so much liberated in my look, for the first time in all my adult life, I have finally embraced my African beauty, and what a blessing it has been, especially to my husband. I may not look the perfect picture of beauty to many, but all that matters to me is what the Lord and my husband thinks of me.
In the scriptures we are reapeatedly reminded that inner beauty is much more precious to God. But we cant deny the fact that God gave us outward beauty. I believe God has also blessed women with outward beauty, Sarah and other holy women in the bible are examples of that. Sarah's outward beauty was a blessing to Abraham. Nowadays we are so obsessed with fake beauty, that we have even forgotten that our natural beauty is a blessing to our husbands. Songs of Solomon portrays that well. What I find sad is that African women rob their husbands the joy of seeing their God given natural beauty by trying to look something they are not.
Am I saying it is a sin to wear hair extensions? Not necessarily. I honestly don't know whether its a sin or not. I just can not see how wearing hair extensions glorifies God. I can not speak for everyone, I cant draw the line either.I do not want to come across as legalistic. But looking at the issue from a Christian perspective, I see so much sin that surround the whole practise of hair weaving and braiding, from envy, covetousness, discontentment with self, obsession with looks and many more, not to mention disobeying our husbands (from what I have researched most men prefer their women natural than fake). Certainly God did not create African women to envy long wavy hair and desire something He didn't give us, instead we should be content and happy with our God given natural beauty, which I believe is fitting for Christian women.
We live in a time and age when most women have completely lost touch with reality as to what true beauty is. The god of this age, the media has done a big job in distorting the perception of true beauty in women, and I believe the most affected group of people by this tragedy is black women. The first time I saw a woman wearing hair extensions was when I was about 10 years old. She looked totally different to her normal usual look, at that time I thought her new look was amazing, but what surprised me was how my mother was rather horrified by what this woman had done to herself. "Why would a black woman want to do that, does she want to be something that she is not" My mother's negative response to this woman's new look gave me something to think about. As a child, I never quite came to a conclusion as to why my mother thought it was distasteful for the woman to wear hair extensions, at that time I put it down to my mother being old fashioned. In fact I would grow up to ignore what my mother believed, because in all of my adult life all I have done is wear hair extensions and braids.
But its not only me who is obsessed with looking different to who I am, nearly every black woman I know wears something on their head. Its either a weave, wig or braids, natural hair on a black woman has now became a thing of the past. There is a question I have always tried to avoid to answer or deal with personally, yet this question is raised frequently. Why do black women wear weaves and hair extensions? Sadly most black women find this question rather offensive. When they attempt to answer, they never do justice to the answer. I too used to get offended by this question, even more so because my own husband used to ask me this question all the time. He hated the fake hair on me and complained all the time that it made me appear as though I was not content with who I was. He always said my hair was far more beautiful than the extensions. Sadly I was too lost in the world of vanity to even consider my own husband's plea for me to embrace my God given natural beauty.
However after I got saved, I found myself rethinking more on the matter with an open mind and questioning my motives as to why I wore hair extensions? The conviction in my heart was strong. I stopped lying to myself and the more I thought about it, the more my mother's words echoed in my mind, " Why would a black woman want to do that, does she want to be something that she is not" .I found some grains of truth in what my mother said, I could not help but ask myself why I would adorn myself and try and look beautiful by wearing someones long wavy hair. It just wasn't right. If God created me this way (with Afro kinky hair), was it right for me to try and change my image and look something that I clearly wasn't? Why am I unable to embrace my God given beauty as an African woman?
Some time last year when I was still wrestling with the whole issue I watched a BBC documentary about human hair extensions and where they come from. I found the documentary quite disturbing and eye opening. While most black women see extensions as a great way to give them a beauty boost, there is in fact a much bigger human story behind every lock of hair. Most of the hair that is sold here in UK if from Asia and if most of us knew how the hair is obtained we would never wear it. There is a moral issue to be dealt with. But what I found most disturbing was how in India, most of the hair comes from Hindu temples where women shave off their hair to sacrifice it to Hindu gods. I do not think after knowing this, my conscience would ever be okay with wearing someone else hair, and it also doesn't help that I have heard stories and even read a book on how the whole practise of wearing hair extensions links to satanism. Some even claim some of the hair comes from dead people. I am not saying I believe all this, but for me anything that is not based on faith is sin. After watching the documentary, I vowed to my husband never to wear human hair again.
I have always had braids or weave in my hair, But as a Christian I never quite found rest in doing this, so much that I even took it to the Lord in prayer. I still wore my weaves and fake hair alright, but I just wanted to be me, the way God created me, and the way my husband prefers me. The more I wore the hair extensions, the more my weak conscience was being wounded. But by the goodness of God, with a lot of confidence boost from my husband, I decided to make hair extensions history, and let my God given beauty flourish, and I have never been happier with my look. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalm 139:14. My husband couldn't be more happier with my natural look, he wants me to look African, not Asian, or Latino or mixed race by spotting hair that doesn't identify with me and distorts who I am. My hair is not straight and wavy, its Afro. With my kinky Afro hair, I have never felt so much liberated in my look, for the first time in all my adult life, I have finally embraced my African beauty, and what a blessing it has been, especially to my husband. I may not look the perfect picture of beauty to many, but all that matters to me is what the Lord and my husband thinks of me.
In the scriptures we are reapeatedly reminded that inner beauty is much more precious to God. But we cant deny the fact that God gave us outward beauty. I believe God has also blessed women with outward beauty, Sarah and other holy women in the bible are examples of that. Sarah's outward beauty was a blessing to Abraham. Nowadays we are so obsessed with fake beauty, that we have even forgotten that our natural beauty is a blessing to our husbands. Songs of Solomon portrays that well. What I find sad is that African women rob their husbands the joy of seeing their God given natural beauty by trying to look something they are not.
Am I saying it is a sin to wear hair extensions? Not necessarily. I honestly don't know whether its a sin or not. I just can not see how wearing hair extensions glorifies God. I can not speak for everyone, I cant draw the line either.I do not want to come across as legalistic. But looking at the issue from a Christian perspective, I see so much sin that surround the whole practise of hair weaving and braiding, from envy, covetousness, discontentment with self, obsession with looks and many more, not to mention disobeying our husbands (from what I have researched most men prefer their women natural than fake). Certainly God did not create African women to envy long wavy hair and desire something He didn't give us, instead we should be content and happy with our God given natural beauty, which I believe is fitting for Christian women.
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Finding Joy In Public Schooling My Daughter
Commit thy way unto the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass, Psalm 37:5.
A year has gone by since my daughter started school. The first months were hard because since I got saved I wanted to home school her. I believed that it was what the Lord wanted for her. Before my daughter started school I had it all worked out and I thought God was obviously going to open the door for me to home school. Sadly this was not going to be so, but in His wisdom and power, the Lord firmly shut the door instead. It was heart breaking for me more than it was for my little girl. Leaving her at school every morning was painful, I had no inner peace at all. I felt like I was feeding my helpless daughter to hungry wolves, and I felt powerless to do anything. The main reason I wanted to home school her was to shelter her from the evil corruption of this world. I didn't want her indoctrinated with the humanistic theories that are being taught children in public schools today, especially here in England. All I wanted was to teach her in the ways of God, and sending her to public school threatened everything I believed was best for my daughter. I honestly could not understand why the Lord was doing this to me and my daughter. So many times I would just ask the Lord; if its your will for me to home school, why won't you let me? At that time I thought the Lord was silent on the matter, which made it even harder.
The Lord finally answered my prayer. Well, He did a while back but I had just not realised the answer. It took nearly a year for the penny to finally drop. The Lord wants my daughter in school for a reason, and He wants me to take her to school for a reason. Home schooling is good, for those that the Lord wills to, but it doesn't mean its always the best. I never thought I would say this, but public schooling is not so bad after all. My daughter loves school. She has made a lot of friends and I am so glad God gave her the opportunity to learn in school. I have seen the hand of God in my daughter's life throughout the year that she has been in school. She has learnt so much. Even though she is being taught from a secular viewpoint, the Lord is sovereign above all. Maybe one day God will use what she is learning today to teach her His sovereignty, He certainly did in my case with all that I learnt in school.
I realised that I struggled so much with sending my daughter to school because of my lack of trust in God. I was relying on my self and I thought I knew what was best. I trusted God with everything else, but not with public schooling my daughter. Yet the bible says we should be anxious for nothing, Philippians 4:6. The Lord taught me to trust Him, and when I finally did, I realised what joy and peace I was missing. Now I gladly walk my daughter to school, I kiss her goodbye and I go home full of joy in my heart. The worry is gone, because I now know that at school she is in the hands of one who loves her more than I do, that is her Father in heaven. At school, she also learns to rely on the Lord and not me. At school she learns independence. I can not always be with her, but God is always there for her wherever she is. I believe His power is often displayed in weakness. Its when I am powerless to be the mother I desire to be, that the Lord shows me how powerful He is. He knows her more than I do and He knows that school is whats best for her at the moment than me sheltering her from the outside world. I think its healthy for her to be away from home for some time and mixing with other children. I have learnt to let go and just trust in the Lord.
The most highlighting experience for me has been how the Lord has opened doors for me to be a witness for Him. Had I home schooled my daughter, I would never have had the privilege of seeing the awesome work of God in allowing me to carry the gospel to other mothers. Through taking my daughter to school, I have made friends with other mothers. The Lord in His goodness has opened doors for me to share my faith. Its the most joyous experience for me, that the Lord can even use me to be a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ! To be honest I am no longer sure about home schooling. I do not think its right for my daughter. I cant believe I am actually saying this. But the Lord is full of surprises. He has changed my desires. I have seen mighty works of God over the past year my daughter has been in school, and I believe what I have seen outweighs home schooling! I wouldn't change a thing, I love taking my daughter to school. Some times my daughter comes home so excited, because she has discovered some other child in her class also knows about the Lord. I believe she does her fair share of witnessing at school. And school has not made her doubt Jesus Christ one bit, in fact I think she has learnt a lot about Christ by going to school. I am so proud of her!
We are the light of the world. He who is in us is far greater than he who is in the world. We should let our light shine, and be prepared to preach the gospel even in most unlikely places. I do not believe the answer is in sheltering our children from the world. The answer is going forth and trusting in Him. Its okay to send our children to school, God is sovereign! He works all things together for His glory and our good. God has opened several doors through my daughter being in school and everything has actually worked for her good and mine. I have finally found peace and joy in sending my daughter to school and I thank God for teaching me to trust Him even when I do not understand. Glory belongs to God!
A year has gone by since my daughter started school. The first months were hard because since I got saved I wanted to home school her. I believed that it was what the Lord wanted for her. Before my daughter started school I had it all worked out and I thought God was obviously going to open the door for me to home school. Sadly this was not going to be so, but in His wisdom and power, the Lord firmly shut the door instead. It was heart breaking for me more than it was for my little girl. Leaving her at school every morning was painful, I had no inner peace at all. I felt like I was feeding my helpless daughter to hungry wolves, and I felt powerless to do anything. The main reason I wanted to home school her was to shelter her from the evil corruption of this world. I didn't want her indoctrinated with the humanistic theories that are being taught children in public schools today, especially here in England. All I wanted was to teach her in the ways of God, and sending her to public school threatened everything I believed was best for my daughter. I honestly could not understand why the Lord was doing this to me and my daughter. So many times I would just ask the Lord; if its your will for me to home school, why won't you let me? At that time I thought the Lord was silent on the matter, which made it even harder.
The Lord finally answered my prayer. Well, He did a while back but I had just not realised the answer. It took nearly a year for the penny to finally drop. The Lord wants my daughter in school for a reason, and He wants me to take her to school for a reason. Home schooling is good, for those that the Lord wills to, but it doesn't mean its always the best. I never thought I would say this, but public schooling is not so bad after all. My daughter loves school. She has made a lot of friends and I am so glad God gave her the opportunity to learn in school. I have seen the hand of God in my daughter's life throughout the year that she has been in school. She has learnt so much. Even though she is being taught from a secular viewpoint, the Lord is sovereign above all. Maybe one day God will use what she is learning today to teach her His sovereignty, He certainly did in my case with all that I learnt in school.
I realised that I struggled so much with sending my daughter to school because of my lack of trust in God. I was relying on my self and I thought I knew what was best. I trusted God with everything else, but not with public schooling my daughter. Yet the bible says we should be anxious for nothing, Philippians 4:6. The Lord taught me to trust Him, and when I finally did, I realised what joy and peace I was missing. Now I gladly walk my daughter to school, I kiss her goodbye and I go home full of joy in my heart. The worry is gone, because I now know that at school she is in the hands of one who loves her more than I do, that is her Father in heaven. At school, she also learns to rely on the Lord and not me. At school she learns independence. I can not always be with her, but God is always there for her wherever she is. I believe His power is often displayed in weakness. Its when I am powerless to be the mother I desire to be, that the Lord shows me how powerful He is. He knows her more than I do and He knows that school is whats best for her at the moment than me sheltering her from the outside world. I think its healthy for her to be away from home for some time and mixing with other children. I have learnt to let go and just trust in the Lord.
The most highlighting experience for me has been how the Lord has opened doors for me to be a witness for Him. Had I home schooled my daughter, I would never have had the privilege of seeing the awesome work of God in allowing me to carry the gospel to other mothers. Through taking my daughter to school, I have made friends with other mothers. The Lord in His goodness has opened doors for me to share my faith. Its the most joyous experience for me, that the Lord can even use me to be a witness for the Lord Jesus Christ! To be honest I am no longer sure about home schooling. I do not think its right for my daughter. I cant believe I am actually saying this. But the Lord is full of surprises. He has changed my desires. I have seen mighty works of God over the past year my daughter has been in school, and I believe what I have seen outweighs home schooling! I wouldn't change a thing, I love taking my daughter to school. Some times my daughter comes home so excited, because she has discovered some other child in her class also knows about the Lord. I believe she does her fair share of witnessing at school. And school has not made her doubt Jesus Christ one bit, in fact I think she has learnt a lot about Christ by going to school. I am so proud of her!
We are the light of the world. He who is in us is far greater than he who is in the world. We should let our light shine, and be prepared to preach the gospel even in most unlikely places. I do not believe the answer is in sheltering our children from the world. The answer is going forth and trusting in Him. Its okay to send our children to school, God is sovereign! He works all things together for His glory and our good. God has opened several doors through my daughter being in school and everything has actually worked for her good and mine. I have finally found peace and joy in sending my daughter to school and I thank God for teaching me to trust Him even when I do not understand. Glory belongs to God!
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Lordship Salvation; Is It Biblical? Part 2
Repent ye therefore. and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, Acts 3:19.
In this second part of this series, I want to discuss one aspect of Lordship theology that teaches a person must repent (turn from sin) and put their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to be saved. For me this has been the most confusing aspect of this theology because one thing I knew was that this was not what happened to me at conversion. Reading how all other saints where converted in the bible, and by reading the likes of Bunyan and Spurgeon, I learnt that term repentance means something totally different to what I was hearing. As someone who shares the gospel regularly, I feared that my presentation of the gospel may not be entirely true. I implemented some of the Lordship theology in my presentation of the gospel,but every time I did this there was always a conviction in my heart, as though I was saying something wrong because I knew that this was something I could have never done outside Christ. I was bothered by the fact that I told people to turn away from sin, yet in my bible I was not getting such kind of teaching. But this is a teaching I was learning from the so called great theologians of toady. I then began reading about the meaning of repentance, and asked the Lord to help me fully understand the scriptures. I was amazed by what I learnt.
Nowhere in the scriptures do we see that repentance means to turn away from sin. Lordship theology defines repentance as the forsaking of sin. Personal reform through the forsaking of sin is a human work. Yet Lordship advocates deny that they teach a work based salvation, that salvation can only be obtained by faith in Christ. This is why I now despise this teaching so much and what led me to question it was the double talk which makes everything so confusing and complicated! They say salvation is not of works, yet they strongly teach that repentance is the turning from sin and this repentance is necessary for salvation. I don't know if its only me, but how contradictory and confusing can this doctrine get! A lot of people have accused me of my lack of understanding of what Lordship Salvation is, all I can say is over the past months the Lord put me in the fire, and it was through the most painful trials I have ever experienced that I learnt the falsehood of Lordship Salvation. I will admit that I learnt the hard way, it was when I was in what Bunyan described as the valley of humiliation, that my eyes where opened and the Lord saw it fit to deliver me from such a false and dangerous teaching. The Lordshippers who accuse me of ignorance, may I say to you that I know what I have been delivered from, and I cant help but share what I have learnt by the Grace of God.
Contrary to popular belief among professing "Christians", the term repentance does not mean to forsake or turn away from sin. This belief is not biblical and there is not one verse in the bible that teaches that turning from sin is necessary for salvation. Like faith repentance too is internal, therefore it is not a human work. A work is something external that is done or said, observable and measurable. But like faith repentance is something that happens in the inside, we can not see repentance as much as we can not see faith. Repentance is not a work.
In the bible, when read in context the word repentance means to change one's mind, this change can not be seen or observed outwardly. I believe it means more than just a recognition of who God is. Its the process by which one sees themselves for who they really are in God's eyes. Its the change of will, change of heart, change of what characterises a person's whole perspective of life. It is a complete change of mind about your very own self, what sin is, and what righteousness is. One recognises their sinful condition and are grieved by their sin. They then realise their need for redemption, thus embracing Jesus Christ by believing in Him for the salvation of the soul. That is what characterises true repentance. In fact salvation without true repentance is not possible, as seen in Acts 26:20, Luke 3:8 and Acts 3:19. There is no salvation without repentance. But the question to pose to the Lordship advocates is what is true repentance and what must a person do to be saved? Their answer is very different to what we learn in the scriptures.
Lordship theology has a complete different understanding as to what biblical repentance is, they believe repentance is a work, a turning away from sin. Turning away from sin happens after conversion, not before. Forsaking of sin is for saints through Christ by the power of the Spirit. Those who are dead in their sins can not turn from sin. If they try to, they are being heavy laden and all their good works are like filthy rugs before God. Good works are results of repentance not a condition for repentance. Turning from sin is a good work which is a result of a changed heart . The bible tells us that true repentance will result in a change of behaviour, but in no way are we told that a change of behaviour is in itself repentance.
We see that throughout the book of Acts that the gospel is a call to believe. This belief happens when one is granted repentance by the Lord. The gospel is not a call to stop sinning and turn to God. Never! It is impossible for such a thing to happen, salvation can never be of works. One thing I now know is that the gospel is simple. How simple? Simple enough for a four year old child to understand and believe. But can a four year old understand the gospel through Lordship theology? As a mother to a young child whose eyes was opened by God, I believe its impossible for my little one to even grasp a fraction of Lordship theology.
The problem with Lordship Theology is that one has to clean themselves up before they can consider turning to Christ. They can not just come to Christ as they are, instead sinners have to do something before they can receive grace. That is what " turn from sin and come to Christ" means. It means Christ is not sufficient, His work on the cross did not do it all, instead Lordshippers treat the grace of God as a cheap thing which is not good enough for salvation. In their attempt to prove that the road to life is narrow and a few find the way of salvation, they try to make the gospel as difficult as they can, sadly they do not understand that it is not our job to make the way narrow or strait. They know not the power of God, that He alone can make the vilest offender as white as snow. Only in Christ can we have victory over sin, prior to that all our good works are in vain.
For those who share their faith and love the truth, it is crucial and important to know what the gospel really is, one thing I can say without a shadow of doubt is that the gospel is not a call for sinners to turn away from sin and trust in Christ. This is a burden that none of us can carry, why put ourselves and others under the yoke of such bondage! The gospel is a call for sinners to turn to the living God, not by works, but by faith through Christ Jesus. Repentance and saving faith can not be separated, they go hand in hand. But we have to understand what it means to repent. Repentance is never a work, I believe it is a change of will and mind about what sin is and who we are before God, but the results of true repentance are good works, which is evident in the lives of those who have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. Glory to God!
In this second part of this series, I want to discuss one aspect of Lordship theology that teaches a person must repent (turn from sin) and put their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to be saved. For me this has been the most confusing aspect of this theology because one thing I knew was that this was not what happened to me at conversion. Reading how all other saints where converted in the bible, and by reading the likes of Bunyan and Spurgeon, I learnt that term repentance means something totally different to what I was hearing. As someone who shares the gospel regularly, I feared that my presentation of the gospel may not be entirely true. I implemented some of the Lordship theology in my presentation of the gospel,but every time I did this there was always a conviction in my heart, as though I was saying something wrong because I knew that this was something I could have never done outside Christ. I was bothered by the fact that I told people to turn away from sin, yet in my bible I was not getting such kind of teaching. But this is a teaching I was learning from the so called great theologians of toady. I then began reading about the meaning of repentance, and asked the Lord to help me fully understand the scriptures. I was amazed by what I learnt.
Nowhere in the scriptures do we see that repentance means to turn away from sin. Lordship theology defines repentance as the forsaking of sin. Personal reform through the forsaking of sin is a human work. Yet Lordship advocates deny that they teach a work based salvation, that salvation can only be obtained by faith in Christ. This is why I now despise this teaching so much and what led me to question it was the double talk which makes everything so confusing and complicated! They say salvation is not of works, yet they strongly teach that repentance is the turning from sin and this repentance is necessary for salvation. I don't know if its only me, but how contradictory and confusing can this doctrine get! A lot of people have accused me of my lack of understanding of what Lordship Salvation is, all I can say is over the past months the Lord put me in the fire, and it was through the most painful trials I have ever experienced that I learnt the falsehood of Lordship Salvation. I will admit that I learnt the hard way, it was when I was in what Bunyan described as the valley of humiliation, that my eyes where opened and the Lord saw it fit to deliver me from such a false and dangerous teaching. The Lordshippers who accuse me of ignorance, may I say to you that I know what I have been delivered from, and I cant help but share what I have learnt by the Grace of God.
Contrary to popular belief among professing "Christians", the term repentance does not mean to forsake or turn away from sin. This belief is not biblical and there is not one verse in the bible that teaches that turning from sin is necessary for salvation. Like faith repentance too is internal, therefore it is not a human work. A work is something external that is done or said, observable and measurable. But like faith repentance is something that happens in the inside, we can not see repentance as much as we can not see faith. Repentance is not a work.
In the bible, when read in context the word repentance means to change one's mind, this change can not be seen or observed outwardly. I believe it means more than just a recognition of who God is. Its the process by which one sees themselves for who they really are in God's eyes. Its the change of will, change of heart, change of what characterises a person's whole perspective of life. It is a complete change of mind about your very own self, what sin is, and what righteousness is. One recognises their sinful condition and are grieved by their sin. They then realise their need for redemption, thus embracing Jesus Christ by believing in Him for the salvation of the soul. That is what characterises true repentance. In fact salvation without true repentance is not possible, as seen in Acts 26:20, Luke 3:8 and Acts 3:19. There is no salvation without repentance. But the question to pose to the Lordship advocates is what is true repentance and what must a person do to be saved? Their answer is very different to what we learn in the scriptures.
Lordship theology has a complete different understanding as to what biblical repentance is, they believe repentance is a work, a turning away from sin. Turning away from sin happens after conversion, not before. Forsaking of sin is for saints through Christ by the power of the Spirit. Those who are dead in their sins can not turn from sin. If they try to, they are being heavy laden and all their good works are like filthy rugs before God. Good works are results of repentance not a condition for repentance. Turning from sin is a good work which is a result of a changed heart . The bible tells us that true repentance will result in a change of behaviour, but in no way are we told that a change of behaviour is in itself repentance.
We see that throughout the book of Acts that the gospel is a call to believe. This belief happens when one is granted repentance by the Lord. The gospel is not a call to stop sinning and turn to God. Never! It is impossible for such a thing to happen, salvation can never be of works. One thing I now know is that the gospel is simple. How simple? Simple enough for a four year old child to understand and believe. But can a four year old understand the gospel through Lordship theology? As a mother to a young child whose eyes was opened by God, I believe its impossible for my little one to even grasp a fraction of Lordship theology.
The problem with Lordship Theology is that one has to clean themselves up before they can consider turning to Christ. They can not just come to Christ as they are, instead sinners have to do something before they can receive grace. That is what " turn from sin and come to Christ" means. It means Christ is not sufficient, His work on the cross did not do it all, instead Lordshippers treat the grace of God as a cheap thing which is not good enough for salvation. In their attempt to prove that the road to life is narrow and a few find the way of salvation, they try to make the gospel as difficult as they can, sadly they do not understand that it is not our job to make the way narrow or strait. They know not the power of God, that He alone can make the vilest offender as white as snow. Only in Christ can we have victory over sin, prior to that all our good works are in vain.
For those who share their faith and love the truth, it is crucial and important to know what the gospel really is, one thing I can say without a shadow of doubt is that the gospel is not a call for sinners to turn away from sin and trust in Christ. This is a burden that none of us can carry, why put ourselves and others under the yoke of such bondage! The gospel is a call for sinners to turn to the living God, not by works, but by faith through Christ Jesus. Repentance and saving faith can not be separated, they go hand in hand. But we have to understand what it means to repent. Repentance is never a work, I believe it is a change of will and mind about what sin is and who we are before God, but the results of true repentance are good works, which is evident in the lives of those who have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. Glory to God!
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Lordship Salvation; Is It Biblical? Part 1
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31
We are commanded in Scripture to test all things and to hold fast to what is good, 1 Thessalonians 5:21. For a while now I have been hearing so many confusing teachings from some preachers I greatly respected. I was tired of hearing so many things that sounded just like the truth but in actual sense wasn't. I do believe we are living in the times of great apostasy and many false teachers are deceiving many. But great is His faithfulness because over the past months the Lord has been teaching me things I never thought I would ever understand.
For a while now I have been battling this issue of Lordship Salvation. And because it is taught by some very popular bible teachers who are respected by many Christians and considered great men of God, I found this issue a rather confusing one. But glory to God who is able to do far beyond what we can ever ask for. I realised that I was esteeming teachings and doctrines of men instead of going straight to the bible and let the Holy Spirit lead me. Does the bible teach Lordship Salvation? Does the bible actually teach that we need to surrender to Christ's Lordship or we need to make Jesus Christ Lord of our lives in order to be saved? I know some may chose not to believe this, but the actual truth is that not one place in the scriptures do we see such teaching. The fact is hat Jesus Christ is the Lord. He is Lord. That is who He is. We do not and cannot make Him anything for that matter. He already is what He is! Lord! Nor can we surrender to Him as Lord, simply because He already is! He is the Lord of glory, James 2:1. The sad thing is that those who preach Lordship Salvation have so complicated the simple message of the gospel and are laying heavy burdens on people that even they themselves cannot carry. When a sinner becomes saved they are not surrendering to the Lordship of Christ, they are surrendering to the Lord Jesus Christ. When a lost sinner becomes saved they are not making the Lord Jesus Christ their Lord, He will be their Lord God. The sinner does not make Him Lord, nor does a sinner surrender to a Lordship. This teaching is unbiblical and heretic at its core.
What does scripture say a person must do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31. Note that scripture never says surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, nor does it say make Jesus Christ your Lord and thou shalt be saved. Now one may ask what harm does Lordship salvation do? I personally have seen the serious errors of this heretical teaching that sadly many believe is biblical. I have a friend who has been subject this heretical teaching and was so confused about how a person gets saved. Does one stop sinning first, surrender to Christ's Lordship then believe to be saved? Lordship salvation does more harm than what people may like to believe. It complicates the gospel. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe Lordship salvation focuses on the Lordship of Christ. People are led to surrender to a Lordship rather than surrender to the Lord. When the Lord graciously saved me, my eyes were opened as to who I really was, a sinner. What did I then do to be saved? I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and I was saved! Right as the bible says. It is not easy believism that many who support Lordship salvation argue. It is the truth. Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved, Romans 10:13.
Easy believism is not biblical either. Just recognising facts about the Lord is not enough. Such a faith is dead! The demons believe and tremble. Many people that I know are not saved. Believing is not easy. Faith is not easy. Many a times my faith is weak. Peter denied the Lord Jesus Christ in a moment of weakness. The Lord Jesus Christ often rebuked the disciples for their little or lack of faith. Yes the disciples where often weak in faith even though they saw the Lord of glory with their own eyes, witnessed many miracles, but they still doubted. At one point they even asked the Lord to increase their faith. Thomas doubted when told the Lord had risen, and only believed when He had seen, how much more harder is it for us who have not seen. That is why the Lord said blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe. So those who say rejecting the false doctrine of Lordship salvation is teaching easy believism need to think again. Real faith is never easy, the bible make that clear.
What Lordship salvation has done is to redefine the gospel. What it actually teaches is that God did not really mean it when He said, believe! He meant something else. Its not enough to believe on the Lord, that's way too easy, lets really tell the world what God really meant when He commanded us to believe! That is what Lordship salvation really is. Its another Gospel. A redefined gospel with grievous errors. What the enemy does is that he mixes so much truth with error, that way the error is not easy to detect though it is enough to confuse and deceive. That is exactly what Lordship Salvation is, the error in it is at times hard to detect. One argument that is often used by teachers of Lordship Salvation is that the Lord often used language like deny yourself, take up your cross and count the cost. They then interpret the teachings of Christ to have been a call to surrender to Lordship or a call to make Him Lord; which is not true. I believe that there is no greater denying of oneself than what happens at salvation! When a proud wretched sinner is humbled by God to realising who they really are and that they desperately need a saviour and they put their trust in the Lord. Being a Christian means denying yourself. Being a Christian means taking up your cross. The disciples left all they had to follow Christ, they did not surrender to a Lordship nor did they make anyone a Lord, they simply followed the Lord.
I would ask people to search the scriptures for themselves and see if Lordship Salvation teaching is so. Go to your bible and read it for yourself (maybe without using the MacArthur Study Bible )let the Holy Spirit lead you instead. I am learning to let the bible mean what it actually says literally, no need to complicate it. Its totally amazing how the Lord will open our eyes to the truth, if we just ask Him. The truth is Lordship Salvation is not biblical.
PS; The Lord willing in the next blog I will be looking at another aspect of Lordship Salvation teaching that focuses on faith and works. Is there such a thing as a carnal Christian? Can a person be saved but live as a heathen?
We are commanded in Scripture to test all things and to hold fast to what is good, 1 Thessalonians 5:21. For a while now I have been hearing so many confusing teachings from some preachers I greatly respected. I was tired of hearing so many things that sounded just like the truth but in actual sense wasn't. I do believe we are living in the times of great apostasy and many false teachers are deceiving many. But great is His faithfulness because over the past months the Lord has been teaching me things I never thought I would ever understand.
For a while now I have been battling this issue of Lordship Salvation. And because it is taught by some very popular bible teachers who are respected by many Christians and considered great men of God, I found this issue a rather confusing one. But glory to God who is able to do far beyond what we can ever ask for. I realised that I was esteeming teachings and doctrines of men instead of going straight to the bible and let the Holy Spirit lead me. Does the bible teach Lordship Salvation? Does the bible actually teach that we need to surrender to Christ's Lordship or we need to make Jesus Christ Lord of our lives in order to be saved? I know some may chose not to believe this, but the actual truth is that not one place in the scriptures do we see such teaching. The fact is hat Jesus Christ is the Lord. He is Lord. That is who He is. We do not and cannot make Him anything for that matter. He already is what He is! Lord! Nor can we surrender to Him as Lord, simply because He already is! He is the Lord of glory, James 2:1. The sad thing is that those who preach Lordship Salvation have so complicated the simple message of the gospel and are laying heavy burdens on people that even they themselves cannot carry. When a sinner becomes saved they are not surrendering to the Lordship of Christ, they are surrendering to the Lord Jesus Christ. When a lost sinner becomes saved they are not making the Lord Jesus Christ their Lord, He will be their Lord God. The sinner does not make Him Lord, nor does a sinner surrender to a Lordship. This teaching is unbiblical and heretic at its core.
What does scripture say a person must do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31. Note that scripture never says surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, nor does it say make Jesus Christ your Lord and thou shalt be saved. Now one may ask what harm does Lordship salvation do? I personally have seen the serious errors of this heretical teaching that sadly many believe is biblical. I have a friend who has been subject this heretical teaching and was so confused about how a person gets saved. Does one stop sinning first, surrender to Christ's Lordship then believe to be saved? Lordship salvation does more harm than what people may like to believe. It complicates the gospel. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe Lordship salvation focuses on the Lordship of Christ. People are led to surrender to a Lordship rather than surrender to the Lord. When the Lord graciously saved me, my eyes were opened as to who I really was, a sinner. What did I then do to be saved? I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and I was saved! Right as the bible says. It is not easy believism that many who support Lordship salvation argue. It is the truth. Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved, Romans 10:13.
Easy believism is not biblical either. Just recognising facts about the Lord is not enough. Such a faith is dead! The demons believe and tremble. Many people that I know are not saved. Believing is not easy. Faith is not easy. Many a times my faith is weak. Peter denied the Lord Jesus Christ in a moment of weakness. The Lord Jesus Christ often rebuked the disciples for their little or lack of faith. Yes the disciples where often weak in faith even though they saw the Lord of glory with their own eyes, witnessed many miracles, but they still doubted. At one point they even asked the Lord to increase their faith. Thomas doubted when told the Lord had risen, and only believed when He had seen, how much more harder is it for us who have not seen. That is why the Lord said blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe. So those who say rejecting the false doctrine of Lordship salvation is teaching easy believism need to think again. Real faith is never easy, the bible make that clear.
What Lordship salvation has done is to redefine the gospel. What it actually teaches is that God did not really mean it when He said, believe! He meant something else. Its not enough to believe on the Lord, that's way too easy, lets really tell the world what God really meant when He commanded us to believe! That is what Lordship salvation really is. Its another Gospel. A redefined gospel with grievous errors. What the enemy does is that he mixes so much truth with error, that way the error is not easy to detect though it is enough to confuse and deceive. That is exactly what Lordship Salvation is, the error in it is at times hard to detect. One argument that is often used by teachers of Lordship Salvation is that the Lord often used language like deny yourself, take up your cross and count the cost. They then interpret the teachings of Christ to have been a call to surrender to Lordship or a call to make Him Lord; which is not true. I believe that there is no greater denying of oneself than what happens at salvation! When a proud wretched sinner is humbled by God to realising who they really are and that they desperately need a saviour and they put their trust in the Lord. Being a Christian means denying yourself. Being a Christian means taking up your cross. The disciples left all they had to follow Christ, they did not surrender to a Lordship nor did they make anyone a Lord, they simply followed the Lord.
I would ask people to search the scriptures for themselves and see if Lordship Salvation teaching is so. Go to your bible and read it for yourself (maybe without using the MacArthur Study Bible )let the Holy Spirit lead you instead. I am learning to let the bible mean what it actually says literally, no need to complicate it. Its totally amazing how the Lord will open our eyes to the truth, if we just ask Him. The truth is Lordship Salvation is not biblical.
PS; The Lord willing in the next blog I will be looking at another aspect of Lordship Salvation teaching that focuses on faith and works. Is there such a thing as a carnal Christian? Can a person be saved but live as a heathen?
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