Lordship Salvation; Is It Biblical? Part 2

Repent ye therefore. and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, Acts 3:19.

In this second part of this series, I want to discuss one aspect of Lordship theology that teaches a person must repent (turn from sin) and put their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ in order to be saved. For me this has been the most confusing aspect of this theology because one thing I knew was that this was not what happened to me at conversion. Reading how all other saints where converted in the bible, and by reading the likes of Bunyan and Spurgeon, I learnt that term repentance means something totally different to what I was hearing. As someone who shares the gospel regularly, I feared that my presentation of the gospel may not be entirely true. I implemented some of the Lordship theology in my presentation of the gospel,but every time I did this there was always a conviction in my heart, as though I was saying something wrong because I knew that this was something I could have never done outside Christ. I was bothered by the fact that I told people to turn away from sin, yet in my bible I was not getting such kind of teaching. But this is a teaching I was learning from the so called great theologians of toady. I then began reading about the meaning of repentance, and asked the Lord to help me fully understand the scriptures. I was amazed by what I learnt.

Nowhere in the scriptures do we see that repentance means to turn away from sin. Lordship theology defines repentance as the forsaking of sin. Personal reform through the forsaking of sin is a human work. Yet Lordship advocates deny that they teach a work based salvation, that salvation can only be obtained by faith in Christ. This is why I now despise this teaching so much and what led me to question it was the double talk which makes everything so confusing and complicated! They say salvation is not of works, yet they strongly teach that repentance is the turning from sin and this repentance is necessary for salvation. I don't know if its only me, but how contradictory and confusing can this doctrine get! A lot of people have accused me of my lack of understanding of what Lordship Salvation is, all I can say is over the past months the Lord put me in the fire, and it was through the most painful trials I have ever experienced that I learnt the falsehood of Lordship Salvation. I will admit that I learnt the hard way, it was when I was in what Bunyan described as the valley of humiliation, that my eyes where opened and the Lord saw it fit to deliver me from such a false and dangerous teaching. The Lordshippers who accuse me of ignorance, may I say to you that I know what I have been delivered from, and I cant help but share what I have learnt by the Grace of God.

Contrary to popular belief among professing "Christians", the term repentance does not mean to forsake or turn away from sin. This belief is not biblical and there is not one verse in the bible that teaches that turning from sin is necessary for salvation. Like faith repentance too is internal, therefore it is not a human work. A work is something external that is done or said, observable and measurable. But like faith repentance is something that happens in the inside, we can not see repentance as much as we can not see faith. Repentance is not a work.

In the bible, when read in context the word repentance means to change one's mind, this change can not be seen or observed outwardly. I believe it means more than just a recognition of who God is. Its the process by which one sees themselves for who they really are in God's eyes. Its the change of will, change of heart, change of what characterises a person's whole perspective of life. It is a complete change of mind about your very own self, what sin is, and what righteousness is. One recognises their sinful condition and are grieved by their sin. They then realise their need for redemption, thus embracing Jesus Christ by believing in Him for the salvation of the soul. That is what characterises true repentance. In fact salvation without true repentance is not possible, as seen in Acts 26:20, Luke 3:8 and Acts 3:19. There is no salvation without repentance. But the question to pose to the Lordship advocates is what is true repentance and what must a person do to be saved? Their answer is very different to what we learn in the scriptures.

Lordship theology has a complete different understanding as to what biblical repentance is, they believe repentance is a work, a turning away from sin. Turning away from sin happens after conversion, not before. Forsaking of sin is for saints through Christ by the power of the Spirit. Those who are dead in their sins can not turn from sin. If they try to, they are being heavy laden and all their good works are like filthy rugs before God. Good works are results of repentance not a condition for repentance. Turning from sin is a good work which is a result of a changed heart . The bible tells us that true repentance will result in a change of behaviour, but in no way are we told that a change of behaviour is in itself repentance.

We see that throughout the book of Acts that the gospel is a call to believe. This belief happens when one is granted repentance by the Lord. The gospel is not a call to stop sinning and turn to God. Never! It is impossible for such a thing to happen, salvation can never be of works. One thing I now know is that the gospel is simple. How simple? Simple enough for a four year old child to understand and believe. But can a four year old understand the gospel through Lordship theology? As a mother to a young child whose eyes was opened by God, I believe its impossible for my little one to even grasp a fraction of Lordship theology.

The problem with Lordship Theology is that one has to clean themselves up before they can consider turning to Christ. They can not just come to Christ as they are, instead sinners have to do something before they can receive grace. That is what " turn from sin and come to Christ" means. It means Christ is not sufficient, His work on the cross did not do it all, instead Lordshippers treat the grace of God as a cheap thing which is not good enough for salvation. In their attempt to prove that the road to life is narrow and a few find the way of salvation, they try to make the gospel as difficult as they can, sadly they do not understand that it is not our job to make the way narrow or strait. They know not the power of God, that He alone can make the vilest offender as white as snow. Only in Christ can we have victory over sin, prior to that all our good works are in vain.

For those who share their faith and love the truth, it is crucial and important to know what the gospel really is, one thing I can say without a shadow of doubt is that the gospel is not a call for sinners to turn away from sin and trust in Christ. This is a burden that none of us can carry, why put ourselves and others under the yoke of such bondage! The gospel is a call for sinners to turn to the living God, not by works, but by faith through Christ Jesus. Repentance and saving faith can not be separated, they go hand in hand. But we have to understand what it means to repent. Repentance is never a work, I believe it is a change of will and mind about what sin is and who we are before God, but the results of true repentance are good works, which is evident in the lives of those who have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation. Glory to God!

Lordship Salvation; Is It Biblical? Part 1

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31

We are commanded in Scripture to test all things and to hold fast to what is good, 1 Thessalonians 5:21. For a while now I have been hearing so many confusing teachings from some preachers I greatly respected. I was tired of hearing so many things that sounded just like the truth but in actual sense wasn't. I do believe we are living in the times of great apostasy and many false teachers are deceiving many. But great is His faithfulness because over the past months the Lord has been teaching me things I never thought I would ever understand.
For a while now I have been battling this issue of Lordship Salvation. And because it is taught by some very popular bible teachers who are respected by many Christians and considered great men of God, I found this issue a rather confusing one. But glory to God who is able to do far beyond what we can ever ask for. I realised that I was esteeming teachings and doctrines of men instead of going straight to the bible and let the Holy Spirit lead me. Does the bible teach Lordship Salvation? Does the bible actually teach that we need to surrender to Christ's Lordship or we need to make Jesus Christ Lord of our lives in order to be saved? I know some may chose not to believe this, but the actual truth is that not one place in the scriptures do we see such teaching. The fact is hat Jesus Christ is the Lord. He is Lord. That is who He is. We do not and cannot make Him anything for that matter. He already is what He is! Lord! Nor can we surrender to Him as Lord, simply because He already is! He is the Lord of glory, James 2:1. The sad thing is that those who preach Lordship Salvation have so complicated the simple message of the gospel and are laying heavy burdens on people that even they themselves cannot carry. When a sinner becomes saved they are not surrendering to the Lordship of Christ, they are surrendering to the Lord Jesus Christ. When a lost sinner becomes saved they are not making the Lord Jesus Christ their Lord, He will be their Lord God. The sinner does not make Him Lord, nor does a sinner surrender to a Lordship. This teaching is unbiblical and heretic at its core.
What does scripture say a person must do to be saved? Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, Acts 16:31. Note that scripture never says surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, nor does it say make Jesus Christ your Lord and thou shalt be saved. Now one may ask what harm does Lordship salvation do? I personally have seen the serious errors of this heretical teaching that sadly many believe is biblical. I have a friend who has been subject this heretical teaching and was so confused about how a person gets saved. Does one stop sinning first, surrender to Christ's Lordship then believe to be saved? Lordship salvation does more harm than what people may like to believe. It complicates the gospel. Instead of focusing on the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe Lordship salvation focuses on the Lordship of Christ. People are led to surrender to a Lordship rather than surrender to the Lord. When the Lord graciously saved me, my eyes were opened as to who I really was, a sinner. What did I then do to be saved? I believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and I was saved! Right as the bible says. It is not easy believism that many who support Lordship salvation argue. It is the truth. Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved, Romans 10:13.
Easy believism is not biblical either. Just recognising facts about the Lord is not enough. Such a faith is dead! The demons believe and tremble. Many people that I know are not saved. Believing is not easy. Faith is not easy. Many a times my faith is weak. Peter denied the Lord Jesus Christ in a moment of weakness. The Lord Jesus Christ often rebuked the disciples for their little or lack of faith. Yes the disciples where often weak in faith even though they saw the Lord of glory with their own eyes, witnessed many miracles, but they still doubted. At one point they even asked the Lord to increase their faith. Thomas doubted when told the Lord had risen, and only believed when He had seen, how much more harder is it for us who have not seen. That is why the Lord said blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe. So those who say rejecting the false doctrine of Lordship salvation is teaching easy believism need to think again. Real faith is never easy, the bible make that clear.
What Lordship salvation has done is to redefine the gospel. What it actually teaches is that God did not really mean it when He said, believe! He meant something else. Its not enough to believe on the Lord, that's way too easy, lets really tell the world what God really meant when He commanded us to believe! That is what Lordship salvation really is. Its another Gospel. A redefined gospel with grievous errors. What the enemy does is that he mixes so much truth with error, that way the error is not easy to detect though it is enough to confuse and deceive. That is exactly what Lordship Salvation is, the error in it is at times hard to detect. One argument that is often used by teachers of Lordship Salvation is that the Lord often used language like deny yourself, take up your cross and count the cost. They then interpret the teachings of Christ to have been a call to surrender to Lordship or a call to make Him Lord; which is not true. I believe that there is no greater denying of oneself than what happens at salvation! When a proud wretched sinner is humbled by God to realising who they really are and that they desperately need a saviour and they put their trust in the Lord. Being a Christian means denying yourself. Being a Christian means taking up your cross. The disciples left all they had to follow Christ, they did not surrender to a Lordship nor did they make anyone a Lord, they simply followed the Lord.
I would ask people to search the scriptures for themselves and see if Lordship Salvation teaching is so. Go to your bible and read it for yourself (maybe without using the MacArthur Study Bible )let the Holy Spirit lead you instead. I am learning to let the bible mean what it actually says literally, no need to complicate it. Its totally amazing how the Lord will open our eyes to the truth, if we just ask Him. The truth is Lordship Salvation is not biblical.
PS; The Lord willing in the next blog I will be looking at another aspect of Lordship Salvation teaching that focuses on faith and works. Is there such a thing as a carnal Christian? Can a person be saved but live as a heathen?

Does Facebook Glorify God?

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in Him, 1 John 2:15.

Since my last blog post, I have been going through so many difficult trials, some which have been quite overwhelming. I have had moments of doubt and despair, I have questioned my salvation. I have had to thoroughly examine myself, to test myself in light with scripture to see if I am on the right path and truly saved. I have found myself crying out to God for his help. I believe God has used this trial to chasten me and clean up a few things in my life that were not fitting to Him. I realised that there was something seriously wrong with my prayer life. How I could spend so much time on a social networking site called Facebook, yet I could not bow down before God for even an hour a day in prayer. The Lord crushed me and made me realise that my prayer life was a shame before Him. Could I not even spend an hour a day in prayer! God help me! If Jesus Christ our Lord who was perfect in thought, word and deed, needed to pray for hours, how much more does a vile thing like me need to pray? I repented of this and by His grace He is teaching me to pray, to have the desire to want to fellowship with Him in prayer not for a hurried few minutes a day, but for hours even if it means waking up very early before my children are up.

I had been on Facebook for just under a year. I am sad to say it had become an idol in my life. It was by the grace of God that my eyes were awoken to this wickedness I was partaking in. I used to think I could use Facebook to witness to the lost, as most of my friends on the site were non-Christians. But God made me realise that Facebook does not glorify Him. It is a place for the enemy, a worldly den for those who long to satisfy their lusts. I could not spread the gospel there, Facebook is corrupt, the pictures that are posted on it are sensual, the status updates that even some Christians post are shocking. Its a place to show off and brag, even among Christians! Even if you go there in good faith, honestly you cant avoid some of the wickedness that is on Facebook. Its like trying to go into a nightclub to share the gospel, it is not right, you are the one who will end up being corrupted. When I started having Christian friends on Facebook, I was crushed and discouraged because of what I saw. Many who go to church on Sundays, who profess faith in Christ, paint a very different picture on their Facebook profiles! I could not believe what was on the profiles of most people I thought were sound in the faith. Many are indeed on that wide road that leads to destruction. Facebook made me realise that we are living in the last days indeed! I did however have fellowship with a very few believers, which was profitable to my spiritual life, but again this could be easily done out side of Facebook. By the grace of God, I am no longer on Facebook, I was freed by God from this bondage of slavery, and I closed my facebook account, something I never thought I could ever do, as I was starting to get lured into the snares and perils of Facebook, not to mention some personal problems that Facebook often brought in my life. But He who is in me is greater than he that is in the world. I have repented and I am free from the bondage of Facebook!

The past weeks have been a journey for me. God has taught me a lot about prayer and the importance and joy of spending time with Him . He also showed me I had an idol in my life and was even using Him as an excuse to keep it! Shame on me! I realised how weak I am, how helpless I am, how sinful I am, that I am really nothing and I do not deserve Him. I am so unworthy! My advice to Christians who are on Facebook is this, please do consider giving up Facebook. You can spread the gospel on the streets instead, or start your own website. Anything that you esteem more than Jesus is an idol, even if you use Jesus as an excuse to be on Facebook. Give up facebook and spend the time in prayer instead. If you are wife and mother like me, clean the house, cook for your husband and spend time with him, play with your children, read your bible, sing hymns and praise God with your children, tell your children about the wonderful works of God, teach your children the fear of God, there is so much you can do with your time. Get off Facebook and get a life. Many people today including "Christians" are suffering from Facebook addiction. Sadly not many would be willing to admit this truth. How can you spend hours on Facebook engaging in unprofitable activities like posting pictures of yourself ( sadly something I used to do) yet you can not even spend that amount of time in communion with the Lord? Something is seriously wrong if this is the case with you. Ask God to free you from this deception, pray, seek Him, ask Him if you being on Facebook is pleasing to Him? If you are His child He will chasten you and correct you. Dear believer, isn't He worth it? Isn't our Lord Jesus Christ worth you missing out on the fun of Facebook?

Fame and Fortune could not save Jade Goody

I do not normally invest my time following celebrity news nor do I endorse Christians doing so either, I believe as believers we should completely separate ourselves from the world. However there are some stories that come to our attention even as believers because although we are not of the world, we still are in the world, 1 John 2:15. I did not feel it was right for me to blog about a celebrity, but then again I thought this is such a tragic story about life and death, and the issue of faith has already been raised a few times , so why should I not write about it for God's glory. My husband and I were discussing it yesterday and he too thought it was a good idea for me to blog about it. Its the tragic story everyone is talking about. The nation is watching as the most talked about British reality Television personality dies of cervical cancer. Despite her fame and her millions, there is nothing the doctors can do to save the life of Jade Goody, she has been told she has about six weeks left to live. Her story has touched the nation, that even the Prime Minister Gordon Brown has wished her well.

At 27 Jade Goody is only a year older than me. Jade, like me is also a young mother so I can imagine the pain she must be experiencing knowing that within weeks her children will no longer have their mother. Since she was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, Jade has since said she now thinks about spiritual things, she said she never used to be a church going person, but she now reads her bible and prays to God. She has said what hapened to her made her appreciate the gift of life even more. She has recently said she wants her two boys Christened so that they can know Jesus and be able to communicate with her when she is gone. This is what breaks my heart the most about this tragic story. A woman on her death bed, who believes reading her bible and praying to God will send her to heaven. A dying mother who believes in the unbiblical act of christening and that her boys will find Jesus through it. A dying mother who believes that she will be able to communicate with her sons when she is gone, and that she will be in heaven, yet there is not one verse in the bible that supports her thinking. What saddens me is Jade Goody's false belief about God, about Jesus Christ and about Christianity. I can't help but think; has anyone ever witnessed to Jade? Does she know the gospel of Jesus Christ? Does she know that we are justified by faith alone in Jesus Christ,not by Christening, not by bible reading, not by prayer, not by going to church. Does Jade know John 3:16 that For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that those who will believe in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life? Does she know that Christ came into the world to save sinners like her, 1 Timothy 1:15. Does Jade Goody know that unless she repents and believes, when she dies in the next few weeks she will spend eternity in Hell. Has anyone warned Jade Goody of the wrath that is to come, that the only thing that is left for her to experience when she dies is the Holy wrath of the Almighty God. It is a fearful thing, to fall in the hands of the living God, Hebrews 10:31. Many people are saying that Jade did not deserve to die like this. Sadly what these ignorant people fail to realise is that we all deserve to die like Jade. We all deserve a horrible excruciating painful death. The truth is we get what we don't deserve, life, health, families, wealth, food etc. If we all got what we deserved, God would strike us all dead this minute, but because God is full of mercy and slow to wrath, but He is long suffering towards us, willing that we should come to repentance, 2 Peter 3:9.

However I am thankful that at least something good has come out of Jade's tragedy, many women in Britain have now booked to have the smear tests they used to ignore and there is now more awareness about cervical cancer since Jade's diagnosis. Jade's case is so sad because her cancer was missed by doctors for 3 years, by the time it was discovered it was too late. She has said she is not angry with the doctors who failed to detect her cancer sooner, I do commend Jade for that. I read that she asked the question," Why would God not give me the chance to watch my sons grow?" When I read that I thought here is a woman who understands the sovereignty of God. To some degree she knows that God willed for this to happen to her, that God has in his sovereignty allowed this tragedy. It made me think, as a young mother myself with three young children, what would I do if I were to find myself in Jade's situation? I am not afraid of death, for I know exactly where I would go if the Lord would call me home today, for death has lost its sting. But I would find it extremely painful to leave my young children without a mother. I want to watch them grow, I want to teach them the things of God, I want to watch my boys, God willing, grow into godly men who will serve Him with all their hearts, I want to see my daughter develop into a virtuous young woman, I so want to see the rewards of my work in my children when they are adults. So would I surrender to the will of God, and say blessed be His name, if I was in Jade Goody's situation? God have mercy on me, that's a painful place for any mother to be in. My heart goes out to this woman, even though I have not necessarily agreed with her lifestyle and the things she has done. I do not know Jade but I do not want her to go to Hell, I do pray that just like the thief on the cross, who looked unto Jesus at the moment of death, I hope Jade too will look unto Christ and call upon His name. Unless she turns to the Lord Jesus Christ, Jade as rich as she is, as famous as she is, she has no other hope. Jade by the looks of it, even on her death bed is still hanging to her fame. Jade has publicised every detail of her illness since her diagnosis. She is still being filmed for her reality TV show, and her death may be seen on TV. She says she is doing this for her two sons, that they may be financially secure in life and have the best education money can buy. Jade already has enough money to secure her children's future financially, she does not need to take things this far, how would her two boys feel when they are older, when they learn that every detail of their mother's death was on national television and in every paper and in every magazine. Jade has to know that its not all about money, or the best education or the best chances in life. We were not created for ourselves but for God, to glorify Him alone. All things were created by Him and for Him, Colossians 1:16. The greatest need her boys have is not money or the best education, their greatest need is spiritual, because of their total depravity they need a saviour to save them from the wrath that is to come. Does Jade know that she and her boys were created by God for Himself? May God grant Jade repentance and may those who love the Lord pray for this young woman, that her eyes may be opened before it is too late.

My Fireproof Surprise

Recently I had a few days of which things were getting on top of me, I was behind in all my housework and was feeling very frustrated about it. When I feel like this it affects me spiritually, I feel like I am failing in the role God has called me to. As I was feeling so stressed out, it was nice when my husband came home early from work and told me that he had a surprise planed for me for later that evening. Sadly I was having a rough day emotionally, physically and spiritually and for the rest of the afternoon I failed in every possible way to be a godly wife to my husband. I snapped at everything he said and found fault in everything he did. I do thank God for the Holy Spirit who abides in me, because He convicted me of this sin and in the end I went to my husband and apologised for my behaviour. By this time I was thinking I had ruined the surprise, but my husband reassured me that everything was okay. Later at night my husband put the children to bed. It was nice to have the peace and quite after such a stressful day. When he finally told me that the surprise was a film. I tried not to look and sound disappointed but honestly I just thought great. The last thing I wanted was the temptation to watch a worldly godless movie, I was already feeling spiritually low and did not want anything to add to that, I have a very weak and sensitive conscience and God has taught me very early in my Christian walk to always listen to the voice of my conscience. My husband knows how I feel about most films of today, in fact I hardly watch them, they do nothing to help me grow in the Lord, and I do not see how watching those films is doing all to the glory of God, Colossians 3:17. I can not falter between two opinions I serve the Living God. I personally do not know how other believers in Christ watch these Hollywood films that contain every sin under the sun and still have a right relationship with our Holy God, its something I can not fathom. So anyway I was disappointed that my husband had chosen a film out of all the things to surprise me, but he reassured me that it was a good film and told me not to worry. He had a cheeky grin on his face so I gave him the benefit of doubt and decided to watch the film with him.

As the film started to my shock and amazement, it was the movie I had been waiting for for months. I looked at my husband speechless for a moment as I did not know what to say. I could not believe he had managed to get this film for me. It was Fireproof! Last year when it came out in America, I was so exited because I thought it was going to come to the UK cinemas too. I wanted my husband and I to go and watch it together for his birthday, but I was disappointed when I learnt that it was not coming to the UK cinemas, I was so upset because I had been looking forward to watching it with my husband, the trailer was just so good. But now there I was sitting in my own living room with my husband, and Fireproof playing on our screen. It was just the most beautiful surprise! But then I got a little worried as I was thinking my husband was not going to enjoy the film because it was a Christian movie. I was wrong. As the film went on I realised my husband was enjoying it as much as I was. It is by far the best movie I have ever watched. Towards the end I could not stop crying, I was not only crying because the film was beautifully presented, but I was also crying because I could not believe my husband had done this for me.

When the film finished my husband told me how during the day he had felt exactly like the character Caleb. How he was trying so hard to please me but I was not even appreciating or taking notice of all he was doing. He told me that at one point he felt like giving up, but because he knew how much I wanted to watch this film so he persevered and did not want the surprise to be ruined. God opened a door for me to talk to my husband at to why I had been feeling low. Its amazing how God used the movie Fireproof to open a door for me to discuss biblical issues with my husband. I told him how I so wanted to be a virtuous wife and to please him, that when I failed to be a godly wife I was supposed to be I stumble in my walk as a believer. I then told him of the woman described in the bible as the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. My husband asked me if this virtuous woman had maids. When I told him she did, what he said was the most beautiful and encouraging words I have ever heard from my husband," Well, if this proverbs wife had maids, you are doing a pretty good job considering you have no maids and you are raising 3 very young children and keeping this home at the same all by yourself, without any household help. You look after the children, you clean, you cook, and you manage this home. The children are happy. Never beat yourself up and think you are not a good wife or a good mother, not many woman can do what you are doing. To be honest Jean, some women do well, but never have I seen a woman who does what you do".

I could not believe what was happening or what I was hearing. I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God. I had just finished watching Fireproof with my husband and he was just praising me and even told me that my cooking was the best. I felt really encouraged and my heart was filled with unexplainable joy. There are times I just feel so discouraged that I am tempted in my weakness to give up. So it was so beautiful to hear such encouraging words from my husband who is not even a believer. It did relieve a huge burden off my shoulder, the burden of worry, the burden of guilt, the burden of always thinking I am not good enough a wife and the burden of doubting God in submitting to my husband. Before and even after I got saved, I used to spend a lot of time adorning myself with all the expensive braiding of hair, fashionable clothes and jewellery. I treasured outward beauty so much and I believed it was my strongest weapon to win my husband's praise. I am not saying I now neglect my physical appearance but God has taught me that my looks should never be what describes me as a woman, God looks at the heart. God humbled me and led me to 1 Peter 3:4-6 and Proverbs 31:30. The true beauty that God desires in a woman is godliness, this beauty will never fade away. My husband made me realise that he appreciated my inward beauty far more than my outward beauty. I was encouraged to continue in the path I am on and not to lose heart, it felt as though it was the Lord himself who was encouraging me. Now I know I should never become weary in doing good, for my labour in Christ is never in vain, 1 Corinthians 15:58.
This was a beautiful surprise for me, not only from my husband but from the Lord as well. Even though my husband did not get saved from watching Fireproof, (something I was not expecting anyway), we were so blessed by this film. My husband even said Fireproof was a far better film than most he had ever watched and said he had taken down a few notes on how to be a better husband. I could not stop praising God in my heart, watching Fireproof with my husband was an answer to prayer and hearing my husband's praise for me was by far the most beautiful thing I have ever heard from him.

Amazing Grace

I have always been reluctant to share my conversion story; at times I have been weak in faith and have doubted how everything happened, mainly because I had not heard another believer who was converted in a similar way to mine. I never said a prayer or went through periods of time seeking God; I never met an evangelist or hear the gospel from a believer. I got converted because the Lord revealed Himself to me and changed my heart. Recently a fellow believer has been a great encouragement to me, because their conversion is a little similar to mine.Some may have thought my testimony is preaching another gospel, but now after much prayer and seeking the Lord, I have confidence that my testimony is true. For that reason I feel maybe its time I share how the Lord saved me.

In 2005, my life had reached a point of which everything was just wrong. I had more enemies in my life than friends, some people had really hurt me and gone out their way to make my life a misery, I hated them so much and I wanted revenge. I had become a very angry bitter woman, and found it impossible to let go and forgive. Little did I know that things were about to change. In December 2005, I woke up one morning feeling like I had had a complete character and personality transplant over night. I felt different, it was strange. As days went on I noticed a radical change in the way I thought, this was a shock to me. I now loved my enemies; all the bitterness and anger I felt towards them seemed to have just vanished. The weirdest thing for me was I had no control over my feelings, I knew this was not the normal me, I felt so relieved both in my mind and body, it was the most beautiful feeling I had ever experienced all my life and I did not want to lose it. It took me about 2 weeks to realise that I had no grudge whatsoever to every person who had ever hurt me in life, I had forgiven. At that point I was feeling a power at work in me, a power that was alien to me.I had no idea what it was, but it felt so powerful, I felt like I was going to explode with the amount of love for those who hated me. During this time my husband and I visited family friends, we never spoke about religion with this couple but on this night strangely our friends started discussing if God was real and about religion. The moment our friend mentioned the name ‘God’, I felt like someone had spoke right through my heart. I started panicking, but in a good way. I then knew in my heart that it was God who was calling me. Suddenly to my own surprise I started talking to our friends about God's love and forgiveness. I started preaching to them that we need to forgive our enemies for us to be free. I was talking about how God forgives us if we love our enemies. At this point I had no idea what I was talking about, the words just started coming out and I had no control over what I was thinking or saying, I was enjoying it, and everyone just looked at me as if to say, what has got into you? Just hearing the name God, seemed to have put me on fire.

On our way home I was telling my husband that I now knew what was happening to me, that God was calling me. At this point I did not comprehend what I was saying; even claiming that God was calling me frightened me, it so did not sound like me. I was telling my husband that I am naturally a bitter angry woman, but the previous two weeks all that had gone and all I felt was love. My husband was gob smacked, because he too had seen the dramatic change in me, if anything he knew me more than anyone, and he had seen the change for himself. We never used to speak about religious stuff, but this time my husband had seen the power working in me, that he was in total agreement that something supernatural was going on in his wife. That night I could not sleep, I was troubled in my heart, I felt restless. I had bought a bible a few years back when I was at University; I had bought it just to add to my book collection, but never used to read it. We had recently moved to our new home so some of the clutter was still in our garage. And my bible was in somewhere in the clutter. That night all I could think of was that bible. I could not wait till morning to find it, I felt like that something that had been working in me was telling me to read my bible, the urge was strong, I can not describe it fully in words.

The next day I rushed to the garage to find this bible. To my amazement it took me a few minutes to find it. I rushed back in the house clutching this bible, like a child who had found a treasure, my heart was pounding, but the feeling was beautiful. I was scared what I was going to find in this book, which now seemed sacred to me. I opened it, and to my amazement I remember reading something about how God is love. That made me even more scared, I was sweating. Then I went on flipping the pages, I read about forgiving those who wrong you, so that God will forgive you too, everything I had been saying to my friends the previous day was in this book, at this point I was in total shock. I kept on flipping the pages, then all the joy turned into confusion, every page I turned to I saw a name that caught my eye, Jesus Christ. It seemed every page had this name. I had heard the name Jesus Christ countless times in my life, but for the first time in my life I had no idea who Jesus was. I could not understand it, I could feel the presence of God, it was so powerful, but yet I became so confused, who was Jesus? Why was His name in the bible? Why was I supposed to love Him? Suddenly I felt guilty that I did not know who Jesus was.
I left the bible on the floor, went to my bedroom, in deep confusion. I had prayed a few times before in my life, but this time I had a strong desire to pray and I now knew for sure that there was a God. It was my first prayer of faith. I fell on my knees and felt the courage to approach Him, ' God, I know you are there, I know it. You are calling me. I have felt your presence over the last two weeks, I can now forgive, and that’s not me. I know you are listening. I am confused, who is Jesus Christ? Am I supposed to love Him, if so why? Can you tell me why His name is in the bible, and why I should love Him?' I felt like God was there next me, and He was listening. After that prayer I felt a peace, all the worry and anxiety about not knowing Jesus just disappeared. Now looking back I can see from that moment I trusted God to reveal His Son to me.

After about three days of making this prayer, one afternoon I was at home doing my housework as usual, suddenly heavy fear entered my heart. It was as though I had a flashback of all the things I had done in my life, I could see how I had lied, stolen, played lottery, hated other people, the list was endless. I had this fear in my heart I can’t full describe. For the first time in my life, I saw myself as a sinner, this was different to how I had felt when I had the abortion, this time it was more real, I saw myself as to who as to who I really was before God. I was a sinner. I felt sorry, guilty and grieved in my heart, that I had spent all my life sinning against a Holy God. All of a sudden as I was feeling guilty and sorry not knowing what to do, the name Jesus Christ come in my heart and mind. In my mind I then saw the cross, then I saw Jesus dying for my sins, paying for my punishment, suffering for me, the wrath of God being poured on Him, for all that I had done. I can not say I saw a real vision, but in my mind I beheld Jesus dying on the cross. That is the moment I believed. It became crystal clear to me who Jesus was and why I had never known Him, I loved Him. Jesus revealed Himself to me, I did not pray a prayer or ask Him to come into my heart. I just believed and from that moment I felt free. I felt as though I had been bound in chains all my life, then the moment I believed in Jesus, my chains fell off, my heart was free! I was forgiven, I felt forgiven. All this seemed to happen in a time span of like 5 minutes. I went from feeling guilty and helpless to feeling free and forgiven. From that moment I realised something had happened to me, I did know what it was at the time, but it was a supernatural transformation. I went to sit down to watch my favourite soaps, I could not do it, the desire had gone, I could not lie, I stopped playing the lottery. I felt like a complete different person, all the things I loved and enjoyed I now hated. Now I had a new desire, I wanted to know about Jesus, that's all I thought of. I had a strong desire to talk to God and read the bible. I would read my bible all the time, would go to bed with it. It became the most important thing in my life. As I was reading everyday, I was learning more and more about my Lord, it was just amazing.

My husband was in shock as he had no idea what was happening, everything was happening so fast. I too had no idea what was happening. All I knew was I was not the same person anymore, I now loved Jesus, I knew I was now forgiven, I felt free and I could not get enough of the Word of God. At this point I did not even know that what had happened to me had a name! I later found out through reading the bible more than four weeks later that I was now a Christian. It was amazing finding out that Jesus called it being born-again in John 3:3. I now knew that I was not a strange girl, I had been saved!
Sadly after this, my painful trials were just beginning. I had no other Christians I knew, no Pastor or Bible teacher to guide me. All I had was my bible. I would read it and read it over and over; I went to a church I had known before as I now desired to be among other believers. I thought everyone who said the name of Jesus was a Christian, sadly I had to learn the hard way, that this was not so. I was so full of fire and wanted to share with everyone that God had saved me. The response I got from so called Christians including pastors was shocking. They did not understand me at all. It was a confusing and painful for me as a young believer. I went to work and wanted to share the good news of forgiveness of sins in Christ with everyone, the response shocked me, no one wanted to know about Jesus, I could not understand why. I quickly lost my reputation at work and one guy warned me that if I carried on like this, people were going to think I was going crazy. This was extremely painful as I had no clue that the world hated Jesus. I would search the scriptures for comfort and answers. I started losing friends and loved ones, all of a sudden I became an enemy and was being accused of all sorts of evil by those I thought were my friends, all I was doing was sharing the gospel with them. After much searching of Scripture, I learnt that what was happening to me was not strange, but normal, they hated Jesus first, and that’s why they hated me too.

I had to endure the frustration of going from church to church without finding true fellowship; all I was hearing on pulpits contradicted everything God was teaching me in His Word. No one seemed to have the zeal for God, people seemed to go to Church on Sundays, but lived a lifestyle of sin during week. I was desperate for a true Christian friend, just one. I prayed and prayed and I got to a point when I was in despair, I would cry out to God and say 'If you made me like this, why will you not at least give me just one person I can fellowship with, are there even any true believers in the whole of England?'But God put a hand on my shoulder in my tears and comforted me, His Grace was sufficient for me. It was as though God said to me, 'my dear child, you have me, fellowship with me, I will teach you great and mighty things you know not of''.

It was during that time when I look back that I learnt so much about the Lord. He taught me a lot of things and even used the so called Christians I knew to teach me that not only the gate is narrow but the way is also narrow. When I look back at how God called me and how He revealed His Son Jesus Christ to me, I stand in awe and amazement of God, that who am I that He was mindful of me? I can not fully comprehend His love or understand why He chose to save a wretch like me, it is truly amazing grace, of which I am eternally thankful.

All Men Are Without Excuse

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, Romans 1:18

Now and again, the Lord willing I get to share my faith with non-believers. Every time I get to witness it never goes according to plan as I get bombarded with unexpected questions I am not fully prepared to answer. In a way this is a good thing for me, because difficult questions always drive me to my bible. If I get stuck with a difficult question during witnessing, my desire to know more about God increases and God is so gracious to me because He always leads me to the knowledge of the truth through His Word. I learn more about the character and nature of God when I witness. When I share my faith with my fellow Africans, there is one question that pops up now and again," We never had the bible to begin with, our ancestors had their own beliefs, it is not their fault that they never heard the gospel. Why should they go to hell if they did not have the chance to hear the gospel and believe, is God not fair and just in sending them to hell?" To be honest I have wrestled with this question as a new believer, I never quite knew how to answer this one. But the more I think about this, the more I am taken back to my life as an unbeliever. I am one of those who actually never heard the gospel all my life prior to my conversion. Even though I was raised in a religious home and went to religious schools, the truth is I never heard the true gospel of Jesus Christ. All I knew was syncretic religion (false Christianity mixed with traditional cultural African beliefs), portrayed by the worst hypocrites. That is the religion I knew as a child which to be honest I hated then and still do today.
So when I think of those who say its not fair for God to send those who have not heard the gospel to hell, I look at my own life. Had I died 4 years ago, I would have gone straight to hell, even though I did not know that I could be forgiven through Christ.I did not know the glorious gospel yet I still would have gone straight to the pits of hell to be tortured for all eternity for my sins, and God would have been just in sending me to hell. I say this because the bible says so and I too can testify about this truth.

About eight years ago I lay in a hospital bed, tears rolled down my cheeks, I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before I would do something that would horrify and haunt me for the rest of my life. My heart was racing fast, I was in tears. Tears of confusion, tears of fear, tears of knowing that what was about to happen was evil. Before I knew it, still confused and in tears, I was whisked off to another room, and the next minute I woke up, guilt and pain filled my heart. I had just killed my first baby. My conscience condemned me, I was wrecked with guilt from that moment. I was not a believer, but suddenly all I could think of was that there could be a God who had seen all I had done. I was filled with shame. The fact that my baby had now died, I started thinking about death, to some degree I became convinced that there was an afterlife. If there was a good God I thought, then there must be a hell for people like me. The concept I had thought to be a myth all my life suddenly became a shocking and fearful reality. I developed a sudden fear of death. If there was a heaven, it became very obvious that I was not heading there, no way I could qualify. For the first time in my life I could not argue with the concept of Hell, it became apparent why I deserved Hell. To me this is clear evidence of what Paul described in Romans 2, my conscience bearing witness to the holiness of God, and the law written upon my heart accused me that I had violated the commandment not to kill, even though I had never heard the true gospel and was totally ignorant and without ability to comprehend the God of scripture. Romans 2:14 - 15 says- "For when the Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, are a law to themselves, who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them".
Most people who are not saved do not want to admit this truth, that they know in their hearts that they are condemned, because their consciences accuses them. Even those who have not heard the gospel know that they are wicked and vile,(Romans 1:21) but many try to suppress that truth, especially hard hearted proud people like atheists, whom God has given up to their vile passions. Little do they realise they are storing up wrath for themselves in the day of judgement and it will be too late to repent. As for me I knew I was condemned years before God graciously saved me, even though I tried hard to suppress this truth by falsely comforting myself in that maybe I was wrong, there might not be a God after all. But this never got rid of my shame and guilt. Sadly I only knew part of the truth, that what I had done was wrong. I thought that was it for me. I did not know that there was a way in which I could be forgiven.I did not even realise how depraved or lost I was. The most shocking thing is I never sought God and did not even want to get saved, (John 6:44 )but God performed a supernatural work in my heart and raised dead bones to life, and behold 5 years later after I had an abortion, I was saved!
I am so grateful to God that he saved me. Now I know that no one goes to hell because they have never heard of Jesus, people go to hell because of their own wickedness against God.People love their sin and hate to be stopped, yes even people who are in the midst of pain and suffering still love their sin. And their conscience too bears witness, even when they have never read the bible. It breaks my heart when I see so called missionaries who go to Africa to feed the hungry first and then they say they will only preach the gospel when the people are well fed and happy, then the gospel will be relevant to them. People who think like this are not true Christians. The gospel of Jesus Christ is relevant to everyone on this planet regardless of circumstances, culture, race or religion. We are all sinners who deserve wrath, and God is just and fair, it is us who are unfair and wicked, Ezekiel 18:25-32.

Today when I look at the words of Jesus in Mathew 11:28 I am broken to tears. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Not only did Christ pay for my sin on the cross, but today He also embraces and comforts me. Now I know that when God looks at me, He sees the righteousness of Christ, 2 Corinthians 5:21. And on Calvary God poured his wrath on His Son for the baby I killed, not only for the cold blooded murder of my baby, but for all things I have done wrong, all this so that today I can be declared not- guilty by God. Those of us who are truly saved can honestly say we do not deserve salvation. For by grace we are saved through faith, and that not of ourselves, it is the gift of God... lest anyone should boast, Ephesians 2:8-9.
We are no better off than those who perish without ever knowing of Christ. The only difference is that God who is rich in mercy chose to save us, even though we did nothing to contribute or impart to the grace we have received. Salvation is a gift no one deserves and those who perish without hearing the gospel deserve the wrath of God as much as we all do. No one is undeserving of hell. That is why as believers we have to be passionate about spreading the good news of forgiveness of sins to every creature, it is our only mission.

Do not forbid them, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven

A few months ago I heard a Christian mother get upset because her 3 year old daughter had been taught in Sunday school that Jesus died on the cross. She was saying that her daughter is far too young to understand this and she may start asking questions about crucifixion and death, which she said would disturb her young child. She was worried about how she would answer her daughter if she asked her why Jesus had died a horrible death on a cross? This disturbed me greatly. Why would we want to hide the cross from little children? It got me thinking a lot, something was not right. I am not saying children should be taught in detail how Jesus died, but we should not use the horror of the cross as an excuse not to teach children the gospel in Sunday school. What will be the point of Sunday school, should it just be about telling children stories? I believe that children should be taught the gospel, even at the tender age of 3. But obviously this should be taught at their level of understanding.

As a mother myself I know that children are born sinners, they are born totally depraved and fully capable of doing evil. From as early as two years old a toddler is already showing a strong desire to please self. Selfishness at this age reaches a peak, toddlers can do anything, from hitting others to manipulating situations to get their own way, (most refer to this stage as the terrible two's). They are just mostly restrained by limited physical power and independence. But if toddlers had the strength and power, I believe they would even be capable to kill another human to get their own way, that is how sinful these children are. This is why I find the claim that children are born perfect and sinless beyond ridiculous. In Jeremiah 17:9 we are told that the heart is wicked and evil. Psalms 51: 5 tells us we are born in sin and Ephesians 2:3 confirms the truth that by nature we are born children of wrath. Children are born dead in sin, totally lost and God hating.

However having said that Jesus took the little children and blessed them, He rebuked His disciples for trying to stop people bringing their children to Him. "Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God" , Luke 18:16. This shows how much our Lord cares for the little ones, He loves them and we should never try and prevent them from learning the truth about Christ. The little children Jesus blessed were not perfect, they too were little rebels, they were sinners in desperate need of a saviour. They too needed forgiveness of sins, Jesus showed us that they too could come to the Father through Him. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train children in the way they should go, and when they are grown they will not depart from it. There is only one way every human should go, and that is to the Father through Jesus Christ. Life can only be found in Christ, as Jesus said He is the way the truth and the life, no one can come to the Father, but through Him. So when Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train our children in the right path, this is not just disciplining them or teaching them good manners, this is to teach them the biblical gospel truth. To teach them that they are sinners in need of salvation. I believe Proverbs 22 instructs us to teach them the truth whilst they are still children because at this age they have not yet became corrupted by the world. They are at a stage where they take in all you teach them, and this is the best time for parents to have the greatest opportunity to evangelize to their children, this stage is crucial. In 2 Timothy 1 we learn that Timothy was raised by his godly mother and grandmother. Timothy was taught scripture from when he was a little boy. What Timothy learnt as a child prepared his heart to receive the gospel of Jesus Christ in his later life. So the importance of teaching children biblical truth on sin and salvation is very crucial. The bible makes this crystal clear.

Even by the age of three children have a clear understanding of good and bad. They know its wrong to be naughty. Their conscience is active. At this stage the conscience is not yet hardened. So this is the best time to evangelize to them. If they are capable of understanding that they are not good little people, why should we hide the truth from them, we should never underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit. When we do not teach children the truth, are we not doing the same thing the disciples tried to do over 2000 years ago when they tried to stop the little children to come to Jesus. What most people do is they lie to their children and tell them that they are perfect, they teach them to love themselves, to feel good about themselves and and to be selfish. Little do they know that they are grooming their own children for Hell, they are pouring more filth and corruption on already contaminated hearts. I pray that the Lord will help us and give us the courage to train our children in the right path especially in these evil days when the world is more corrupt than ever.

My Greatest Hero in Christ.

We are living in times where the majority of people are obsessed with celebrities. People buy all the magazines with all kinds of celebrity gossip just to get a glimpse into the lives of the mega rich and famous. Not long ago I too used to be a slave to this kind of life. When I was a teenager at University my room was filled with posters of celebrities. I remember how obsessed I was with these people, which I believe is idolatry. I would envy them and I wished I had their life. I thought these pop stars and Hollywood actors had it all. I wanted to be them. Now when I look back and think at one time in my life I was obsessed with these people, I feel sick. These are the most deluded self absorbed individuals who have no clue why they are even on this planet. They are so lost and depraved that they don’t even know that they are lost. They think this is all there is to life, so they consider themselves lucky and do their best to try and make the most of it, which sadly they are not even good at. Their personal lives are always tragic and a mess. All that glitters is not gold. Now when I look at these famous people who are so wrapped up in themselves and think they own the world, I feel nothing but compassion for these lost souls. They are so lost, so depraved that they are willing to commit adultery in the name of art, this is why I have a hard time watching most films of today, they are just sick to very core. I hate them.

I am so grateful that God has totally transformed me. I have gone from idolising and worshiping people to worshiping the one true God of the bible. Who alone is worthy of worship. I no longer wish to be somebody else or wish I had what someone else has. I now wish to be more and more like my Lord Jesus everyday. He is the one I am now obsessed with. Every day I want to please only him and do everything according to his will. Though I fail from time to time, and though I still sin and am troubled by it, but God is faithful and he always delivers me and he makes me grow. God does not want us to idolize people, He does however bring people in our lives that are more respectable and godlier than us, and He does this so we can learn from their godly conduct and we can aspire to grow spiritually like them. I have people that I admire so much like the Apostle Peter, Mary the mother of Christ, The Samaritan woman at the well (obviously I don’t admire her sinful lifestyle but I admire her honesty and the way she went and spread the good news about the messiah soon after her dramatic conversion) . I also admire men of today like Paul Washer, Voddie Baucham and John MacArthur, I admire the way these men faithfully defend the gospel of Jesus Christ even if it means they become unpopular in the process. And also other men who are in heaven like John Bunyan, Martin Luther and many more. So God does allow us to be encouraged by women and men who are godlier than ourselves. This is always to drive us to a deeper relationship with God. When we look at men and women who are godlier than us, the amazing thing is it’s never about them, it’s always about Jesus. We see the power of Christ working in these individuals. We are drawn more closely to God by the impact other godly people have on our lives. I really admire John MacArthur and his ministry because his books and teachings have had such a powerful impact in my life, in fact I started this blog after I was moved to tears by reading one of MacArthur books called Divine Design which out lines the roles of men and women as God designed them to be. God used this book to open to open my blind eyes to the truth of scripture about men and women.

There is however one man who is my biggest celebrity and hero, the apostle Paul. When I look at the life of this man I wish to have met him in this life. This man was a true hero. I admire him so much. He had a dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus. God is the one who came to this man and saved him. Paul was not looking for Jesus, but rather Jesus was looking for Paul and Jesus found him. I had a dramatic conversion myself and it took me more than a month for me to know that what had happened to me was referred to by Jesus as being born again. Jesus then took this man Paul and made him his slave, Paul's life was so radically transformed that people who knew him could not believe it was the same man. He had so much passion for Jesus Christ and he spoke the mysteries of the Gospel that people had never heard before. I wish I had a mentor like Paul; young Timothy was very blessed to have had Paul as his father in the Lord. Paul's second letter to Timothy is one of my favourite books in the bible. Wise Paul encourages young Tim to pull himself together and keep his eyes on fixed on Jesus. Timothy was starting to feel the pressure of persecution and he might have been discouraged and maybe his faith was starting to waver. But his father in Christ Paul, who had so much love for this young man, encouraged him to keep fighting the good fight. When I look at the intensity of the epistle Paul wrote to Timothy I get the sense that persecution for this young man had probably reached its climax, and Paul was there at the right time for Timothy, encouraging him in the faith telling him not to lose heart.

I love Paul's passion. When I read the letters he wrote, I see God's word but I also study the life of this ordinary man who wrote such truths under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. I am blown away by him. During his time, this was a man who was misunderstood by many, hated for the things he said, accused of the most atrocious and ridiculous things, a man who lost all he had for Christ (maybe even his family), a man who was beaten up and often publicly humiliated for his faith and in chains many times, a man who experienced the hurt of being betrayed by those he thought understood him (2 Timothy 4:16). Paul was definitely an unpopular man during his time and eventually died for his faith. But despite all he went through he did all things through Christ who strengthened him. Throughout his ministry Paul suffered mockery, ridicule and even physical persecution, but he fought till the end. I thank God for working so effectively in Paul's life. I am encouraged and I know that we too can experience the peace and joy that the Apostle Paul experienced even in the most tragic and painful circumstances. Paul was used by God in a mighty way. Paul is my hero, I do not idolize him, but I try to imitate his faith, the way he lived and most of all I try to handle suffering the way he did. I pray that one day I will reach that spiritual maturity, so I can do more for the kingdom of God the way Paul did, and that above all God's name can be gloried, because He alone is worthy to be worshiped.